


Blink And You'll Miss It

by iknewaman



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Anal Sex, Canon Compliant, Consensual Underage Sex, First Time, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, To a point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-01 23:05:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8641792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iknewaman/pseuds/iknewaman
Summary: Soulmate AU where everyone has a watch on their wrist that stops when they meet their soulmate. Spock and his family are being given a tour of the area where the new shipyard will be built in Riverside when Spock’s soulclock stops.





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> I do not nor will I ever own Star Trek.
> 
>  
> 
> This fic ended up being waaaaaay too long to post as a one-shot, which was my original intention, so I had to divide it into three chapters. 
> 
> Hope you guys will enjoy this, and as always, thanks for the read! :)

“Spock, do not touch that.”

Spock turns to his father, gently pulling his hand back from the flora.

He’s still learning not to reach for things that pique his curiosity. His father has told him that to touch strange things is taboo, but his mother maintains that the rule only applies to Vulcans. Spock isn’t certain where that puts him, but he doesn’t want to look like a poor example of a Vulcan in front of his father, so he hides his hands behind his back.

There’s been a lapse in his control lately when it comes to touching things, and that’s due to the fact that he is extremely excited by his surroundings. Spock and his parents are currently being led through an empty lot in Riverside, Iowa, a bit of land on Earth, and being shown where Starfleet has planned to build their new shipyard. It is a vast field of land with little to no vegetation.

Sarek had been invited by Starfleet to examine the choice of location, as they had sought funding from several Federation planets, Vulcan being one of them. As the shipyard would be used to build new starships, the Federation had promised to construct several science vessels which was of interest to the Vulcan Council.

All the Federation planets had been invited to peruse the location of the soon-to-be shipyard, but only a handful responded positively. Others replied informing Starfleet that if more starships were to be built, they wanted it done on their own planets, not Earth. It’s a diplomatic issue that frustrates his mother to no end, but his father is the diplomat and his expression never gives anything away which makes him excellent at his job.

The government guide is gesturing around herself, explaining in detail Starfleet’s plans on where they will build specific parts of the shipyard. Spock is enthralled by all the planning and potential the place has, and listens avidly as the guide goes into further descriptions on the material that will be used, the cost, and the benefits of having another shipyard out in the Midwest.

The woman comes to a sudden stop, and turns to Sarek with a smile. Spock notes her hands are clasped together.

“That’s all for now, I’m afraid.”

Sarek inclines his head, and turns to wife. He holds out two of his fingers, and Amanda brings up her own to stroke along her husband’s. Spock sees parts of their soulclocks peeking out from their sleeves, stuck on their customary time, 03:12, the moment Amanda and Sarek had first crossed paths. 

It was an odd meeting at an odd time of the night. 

Amanda had caught a midnight release at the cinema with her friend Aaminah, and had missed the last shuttle back to her apartment. As she didn’t possess enough credits for a taxi ride back, she was forced to walk home. Amanda vividly remembered it pouring down rain and the weather being awfully wicked that night. After forty minutes she managed to reach her apartment building, but a search in her purse revealed that she had lost her keys. Frustrated and freezing to the bones, Amanda had gone round the back of the building and tried to climb up the fire escape.

The key word being _tried_. After much struggle she had managed to get a hold of the bottom bar of the fire escape, and manoeuvred herself up it. Midway through however her pant leg snagged on the ladder, and she was unable to climb further up without tearing her pants. Amanda had cursed loudly and kicked at the ladder with her free leg.

“May I be of assistance?” A deep voice called from below. Amanda peeked down and saw a figure stood at the bottom with a black umbrella.

“I...” Amanda sighed. “I don’t know. I’m stuck!” She called back.

The figure moved until they were directly beneath the ladder, then looked up. “Ensure you are holding onto the ladder firmly.”

Amanda raised a brow. Who even spoke like that? “Right, I’m holding on tight.”

The figure jumped up and gripped the bottom rung of the ladder. Amanda felt the ladder shift, and then it was being gently pulled down. Shock marred her face.

“Holy shit.” She breathed. “How did you do that?”

“I am Vulcan.” The figure stepped back, allowing Amanda to get a good luck at them. She saw a clearly masculine figure with hair cut in a straight bowl cut, and peeking up on each side were two pointed ears.

“You’re incredibly strong.” She noted.

“All Vulcans are. It is a characteristic passed on from our ancestors.”

“Interesting.” Amanda commented, nodding.

“Will you not remove yourself from the structure?” The man asked.

Amanda felt herself blush, and looked down at her leg. “I uh… my pants seem to have gotten stuck on one of the rungs.”

“Extricate yourself.” The man said plainly.

“I’m gonna,” Amanda grumbled. “Just hold on a second…” She placed her free foot on the ground gently, feeling it ease down into the mud. She grimaced, but ignored it in favour of leaning down and trying to unsnag her pants. Her fingers were freezing and she was shivering from the cold.

“I can’t do it.” She sighed, straightening up again. “My fingers are too damn cold.”

The man stared at Amanda for a long time, and he kind of looked uncomfortable.

“Could you help me?” Amanda asked. “Please?”

The man remained unmoving for a few seconds, then approached her. He held out the umbrella to Amanda. “Please hold this over my head.”

Amanda cracked a smile. “Alright, princess.”

“I am not a princess, but more accurately a prince.” The man said, carefully kneeling down.

“You’re joking, right?”

“I do not jest.”

Amanda’s mouth dropped open. “Holy shit. That’s your job?”

“It is my position in Vulcan society. My line of work is my ambassadorial duties, as I am the Vulcan Ambassador to Earth.” Amanda could feel the man gently pulling at the cloth of her pants.

“That’s some impressive credentials.” She commented, still in awe of who this man was.

“They have indeed come in handy during my lifetime.” Amanda felt her pant leg come loose, and she stepped back, causing water and mud to splatter.

“Oh my God, thank you so much.” Amanda said, genuinely grateful. The man stood up from where he was kneeled.

“One must always help another in need.” The man said, holding out his hand. “My umbrella, if you please?”

Amanda smirked. “Of course, your Highness.” She jested playfully, and held it out. The man reached for the handle, and just as he grasped it Amanda saw her soulclock had stopped.

_03:12_

She gasped, and the man froze. He gingerly pulled his hand back, but Amanda grabbed his sleeve. “No, don’t.”

The man inhaled sharply, and she immediately let go of him. “I’m sorry, it just…Do you know what time it is?”

“It is 03:19.” The man said slowly. 

Amanda felt her heart beating faster. She pulled down the sleeve of the hand holding the umbrella, and exposed her wrist, her soulclock. The man peered at it, and his eyes widened marginally.

“To this day, mine’s always been ticking.” Amanda admitted quietly.

The rain continued to pour around them, the pattering of drops in the puddles a loud distraction from the sudden hush that fell between them. The man finally looked down at his own wrist, and carefully pulled the sleeve of his robe up. Amanda tilted her head to see.

_03:12_

The same as hers.

Amanda looked back at the man, and the man slowly looked back at her. A brief moment of silence passed before either of them spoke.

“My name is Sarek.” Said the man, his voice a deep rumble.

“I’m Amanda.” She smiled.

Amanda still claims that despite the unfortunate circumstances, it was a highly romantic meeting, and one of her favourite memories.

It's rare for two beings of different races to find their matches in one another, but it isn’t unheard of. Everybody has a soulclock. Everbody of Humanoid origin anyway, not species like Kürgs that were floating blobs of gelatinous substance, or Gwentoans that looked more like Earth spiders.

The soulclock is a highly important notion in many societies, but Spock has observed that the idea of a soulclock is much more meaningful on Earth than on other planets he’s visited in the Federation. 

The soulclock is a theme of many romance novels, and Spock has seen that there are far too many Earth holoshows on the matter. He doesn’t understand them, because the people on the shows always end up with people who aren’t their soulmates, and then there’s unfound drama when the relationship doesn’t work out or the actual soulmate shows up. He thinks all this stress could have been avoided had the person on the holoshow simply waited for their soulmate. 

“Not everyone meets their soulmate, Spock.” Amanda tells him when he explains his thoughts on the matter. She’s smiling at him, mirth evident in her brown eyes. “Sometimes you can’t handle waiting for anyone, and you settle. Sometimes you feel too strongly for someone who isn’t your soulmate, and you go with them.”

Spock is still young, and also half-Human, so he is not unfamiliar with feelings and their strength in influencing a beings decision-making. He admits that certain feelings he appreciates, like affection, or awe, but as a whole he thinks they should be avoided. They hinder a being’s train of thought and prevents them from making clearly logical decisions in favour of emotional ones, and he has learnt from a young age that that is not the Vulcan way. 

Spock knows there are instances where soulmates never meet, and he’s heard of people settling down with others, as well as people simply never settling down but dying out waiting for their soulmates, alone. The articles and stories about them claim that they were spurred on by hope, and that, Spock thinks, is a truly dangerous emotion.

Amanda drops her hand back to her side, and Sarek then turns to Spock. He holds out his fingers and Spock does the same, giving his father a brief kiss.

“What is happening?” He asks, curious as to why his father is giving them goodbye kisses. 

Amanda reaches for Spock and gently rubs his back. “The rest of the visit is confidential to civilians, Spock. Only your father and Ms. Reta have access to it.”

Spock nods once in understanding. It is unfortunate, as he had been enjoying the tour, but he is aware that certain topics cannot be discussed with civilians due to security reasons. Amanda and Spock leave Sarek and Ms. Reta where they are, and make the trek back out of the empty lot.

“So,” Amanda starts, looking to Spock with a smile. “You up for some sight-seeing?”

“You will take me with you whether I approve of it or not.” Spock replies, knowing it will elicit a smile from his mother. Her fondness always shines through when he says something particularly cheeky.

“You are so sassy.” She laughs, and strokes down his hair.

Amanda takes Spock into the city centre to get some ice cream, and together they explore what the small town of Riverside has to offer. His father is constantly busy with diplomatic talks, and so Amanda and Spock spend their time exploring the shops, sights, and recreational activities. Spock’s mother had always been fond of experiencing the unknown, and he is certain that that quality runs deep within him. It is his only explanation as to why he is constantly seeking more knowledge and accompanying his parents on their work trips instead of staying at home with a sitter.

They stay for two more days, and on the evening of the last day they take a shuttle back to San Francisco. Spock watches the scenery outside the window pass by. The speed the shuttle is going at doesn’t allow for a regular Human to see the landscape, only dashes of colour, but if Spock focuses and squints he can parse out certain flora. He notes the difference in landscape between Iowa, then Nebraska, then Colorado and all the other states that follow. The U.S. is a large landmass, containing different vegetation in different areas. It’s not like Vulcan that consists of only deserts.

“Oh!” Amanda gasps. “Spock, look!”

Spock looks to his mother, and sees that she’s pointing to his wrist. He looks down at it, and his breath hitches.

His soulclock has stopped. 

_14:32_

Spock has no idea when this happened. He’s absolutely positive it was ticking before they arrived in Iowa, and he remembers it was still ticking when they were being guided around the potential shipyard. He recalls he had irrationally had the thought that perhaps his soulclock would tick faster due to his excitement, but a quick look had disproved that notion.

Spock is certain his soulclock was ticking when he and Amanda left to explore the city, which means that he had met his soulmate there. In Riverside.

He tries to remember the people he saw and interacted with, but the numbers are too high. Many of them were interested in Spock’s appearance, his hair and pointed ears causing people to fawn over him. They would talk to him in a high-pitched voice, and he’d hide behind his mother’s legs, allowing her to take over the task of making nice with the strangers. He remembers sitting outside the ice cream parlour with Amanda, and a few kids had run up to him and asked if he wanted to play games. They never specified a game, but Spock didn’t wish to leave his mother’s side, and so he had declined.

“What were we doing around that time?” Amanda wonders aloud, bringing her finger to her chin.

Spock joins his mother in thinking. At 13:56 they had arrived at the town’s shopping centre, a small recreation of the larger ones Spock had seen in the more populated cities. He remembers being overwhelmed by the amount of people, as he had not expected so many to be out at that time of day. He was forced to strengthen his shields, and his concentration was mostly focused on maintaining them throughout their visit. He recalls hearing a child crying, being bumped into by an older man who immediately leaned down and apologised, two girls chattering as they walked past hand in hand. He can’t pinpoint a certain moment that stood out to him, as people were constantly rushing about.

He can’t pinpoint when he met his soulmate.

*

As soon as Spock gets back to Vulcan he looks up facts about Riverside. He eliminates the places of the same name in New York and California, and then changes his search to ‘Riverside Iowa’. He is given a long list of results, but Spock is only interested in one thing. He browses the page until he finds it.

_Population: 1,237_

Spock thinks back to the shopping centre, and from memory alone he estimates there were between 120 to 130 people present. It would be safest to round up to the highest number so as to allow for some margin of error, and so he rounds it up to 130 people.

Spock needs to narrow it down, and so he tries to recall how many people were in his vicinity around the time his soulclock stopped, but he can’t come up with an accurate estimation. That leaves him with the 130 people.

One of those 130 was his soulmate, but he doesn’t know who was there, so he’s forced to broaden his search to all of Riverside. It has now turned from one in 130 people being his soulmate to one in 1,237.

*  
Spock still attends his classes and revises intensely afterwards, still tries to maintain his emotional control when confronted with his tormentors, still lives his life on Vulcan, but he isn’t as invested as he was prior to his soulclock stopping. 

He keeps an alert on any news that occurs in Riverside, which over the next year is a lot. The shipyard is greenlighted two weeks after Sarek’s visit, and construction of the place starts immediately. The work brings in people from all walks of life, and this causes the population to increase drastically. Spock watches as the number of people living in the town jumps from 1,237 to 1,754, to 2,348, to 3,004 and counting. The influx of workers also encourage the town to build more apartment complexes for their new residents, and this brings in more workers. 

Spock continues to watch as the population of Riverside, Iowa rises.

*

Sometimes Spock will entertain the thought of hacking into Starfleet records or government records of the United States of America, just so he can see who was born in Riverside. Though it’s not certain that his soulmate was born there, Spock has evidence that they were present at the time of his visit. 

He’s certain they must be within his age range, as Spock can’t imagine having a partner much younger or older than himself. It’s not unheard of, but like mixed race couples, it is incredibly rare. If Spock were to take into account that his soulmate was not born in Riverside, then they could be from anywhere in the country, or the world. They could have been visiting friends at the time, or on holiday. 

Suddenly the number jumps again, this time from one in 3,004 to one in over seven billion.

His mother had once told him about lost opportunities, and Spock feels it now. He is incredibly tired.

*

Spock is fourteen years of age when a new Vulcan boy is transferred to his institution, and Spock cannot stop looking at him.

The boy’s name is Satok and he is two years Spock’s senior. He has a slim build with the line of his collarbone evident when he wears loose shirts, and his face consists of sharp lines and a strong nose. Spock is ashamed of himself because his attraction lies in Satok’s appearance, and not in any form of mental compatibility as Vulcans are prone to seeking.

To be fair, Spock hasn’t tested their mental compatibility, so he doesn’t know if he can justify his attraction. What he does know is that Vulcan children never develop affections for Vulcans they have never undergone a customary mind meld with, and so Spock makes sure to keep extremely tight-lipped about his attraction to Satok.

Spock watches Satok often when their revision sessions overlap, and he notes how tall the boy is and the manner in which the desert sun highlights his features. His eyes are dark, darker than anything Spock has ever seen before, and sometimes he will wonder to himself if Satok’s eyes absorbs all light and hides it away. It is an irrational thought, but the idea makes Spock feel elated.

Satok has spoken with him on several occasions, but he doesn’t treat Spock any different from his classmates. One day Amanda arrives early to pick Spock up, and Satok spots her. Spock immediately whispers to his mother to wait outside the gates, and he will come find her once he is done. Amanda just peers at him, confused, until she notes the light blush on her son’s cheeks. She looks behind him and spots a tall Vulcan boy looking in their direction. Smirking, Amanda leans down and places a kiss on Spock’s head, laughing to herself when he immediately steps back.

“I’ll be waiting, sweetheart.” She tells him, and walks off.

Spock can feel himself burning up, and it’s not from the sun. He hears footsteps from behind, and turns around only to be greeted by the sight of Satok. His dark eyes are watching Spock.

He gives a single nod, and then walks around Spock towards the exit gates. Belatedly, Spock returns the nod at Satok’s back, and as soon as he does it inwardly scolds himself for such foolish behaviour.

He thinks about the interaction all the way home and throughout dinner, and then makes excuses about revising in his room to hole himself away. Spock is embarrassed at his actions, thinks he should have handled it with more grace and dignity, but he can’t help thinking about Satok, about his gentleness and eyes as dark as coal. 

Sometimes he’ll look at his wrist and be reminded that his soulclock has stopped. Even though chances are incredibly slim, Spock has wished for Satok to possess the same number as him. It is a frivolous notion, but Spock can’t help falling back on the thought after every interaction he has with the Vulcan.

He wonders if this is an experience common among Humans, and after much research he finds out that this kind of behaviour is common in Humans going through puberty. Vulcans on average go through puberty in their late thirties, but since Spock is a hybrid it wouldn’t be a surprise if he were to experience it earlier.

A few days later Satok approaches Spock as he’s stood in the queue for the replicator. 

“I was not aware you were half-Human, Spock.” He tells him.

Spock feels a spike of fear come over him. The other Vulcans in the queue pay him no mind, they are all aware of his hybrid status. Still, having it announced so openly puts him on edge.

“I am.” Spock confirms.

“Is it on your mother’s side or your father’s?” Satok asks.

“I am Human on my mother’s side.”

Satok nods once. “The woman I saw with you, she was your mother?”

“Affirmative.”

“Where on Earth is she from?”

“My mother is from the country Canada, from the city of Winnipeg.”

“I have heard of Canada. It is a large landmass in the Northern hemisphere of the planet. It possesses several varying ecosystems and a largely heterogeneous population.”

Spock quirks a brow. “You are correct.”

Satok inclines his head. “Thank you.”

“Does Earth interest you?”

“Extremely.” Satok confirms, and Spock feels his heart rate rise.

Satok continues to ask Spock questions in the queue, falling into step with him as he replicates his food, and even joins him in consuming it. He asks general questions, some more specific but they all stem from curiosity, not malice as Spock is so accustomed to. Satok’s kind behaviour has Spock’s affections growing even more, and he finds himself struggling with keeping his blushing at bay. He tries to quench down his burgeoning attraction since it ties in with feelings, and Vulcans don’t have feelings.

Satok and Spock spend much of their time together, sometimes chatting relentlessly, sometimes allowing silence to sit comfortably between them. Spock was not aware he could feel so at ease with someone other than his parents, but he is glad he has discovered that it’s possible.

It’s almost six months later that Satok asks to kiss Spock, and Spock is more than eager. They hold out their fingers, and hesitantly drag them along each other’s. It’s extremely good, and Spock finds himself trembling lightly from the emotion it elicits. He is delighted he gets to share his first kiss with Satok, but it comes with the unfortunate realisation that the boy is not his soulmate. When they drag their fingers along one another’s, Satok’s sleeve falls down slightly and Spock catches sight of his soulclock. It’s still ticking.

A feeling of dejection washes over him, and it causes Satok to flinch back. Spock blushes and immediately says, “I’m sorry. I encountered a lapse in control.”

Satok slowly nods his head once, and holds his fingers back out, allowing them to continue their kissing. Spock re-focuses his efforts to keep his emotions tightly locked away, not wanting a repeat of what just happened. He is a Vulcan, and Vulcans do not feel.

Spock and Satok continue exchanging kisses in the weeks that follow, often when in private, though sometimes Spock will feel courageous and surreptitiously do so as they pass one another at the institution. Spock would feel ashamed if he did not feel Satok’s elation whenever he did so. It is several weeks later that Spock finds himself growing hungrier for more of Satok, and so he suggests they engage in intercourse. Satok readily agrees, and Spock feels himself vibrate with contained excitement.

They agree to do it at Spock’s home, since his parents are often away. One night Spock finds out in advance that his parents will be at a gathering at T’Pau’s residence, and so he will have the home to himself. He immediately tells Satok about it, and they make plans for him to come over once Spock’s parents have left.

Vulcans were incredibly open when it came to discussing sexual proclivities, and so Spock and Satok have both heard their fair share about sexual experiences. However, Spock knew hearing about something was not the same as experiencing it, and so he conducts extensive research on the subject. After reading through several research articles, he is certain he wishes to experience penetration. Hopefully Satok is amenable to the suggestion, but if not, there are other activities they could try that didn’t require penetration but would bring them both release.

Satok creeps up to the door, knocking gently, and Spock wastes no time in opening it and dragging him back to his bedroom.

“I have done further research on sexual copulation.” Spock reveals once they’re in his room.

“As have I.” Satok reveals.

“Then we are both informed.” Spock nods. “I must reveal I have wishes of being penetrated.”

Satok’s eyes glaze over, and he nods once. “I must reveal I harbour similar wishes of penetrating you.”

Spock feels his cock stir and the wetness surrounding his folds increase. He takes Satok’s hands into his own, and the boy gasps. Spock’s excitement thrums through him, and he walks backwards towards his bed until they both fall onto it. Satok’s body is a comfortable weight above him, and Spock feels himself getting wetter.

They exchange kisses, some of them growing hurried and frenzied the more their thoughts ring through each other. Spock is proud to say he has excellent control of his mental shields now that he’s a bit older, but he’s incapable of keeping them in place when Satok licks at his fingers, eliciting a moan from Spock. Satok seems to be in a similar situation, as powerful feelings of desire and curiosity that are not Spock’s own pulse through him.

Spock grips Satok’s hips and rolls his own up, making sure to rub against the hardness in his pants. Satok lets out a deep moan, and buries his face in Spock’s neck. Spock continues to drag their clothed erections together, and only when Satok gasps his name does Spock let go. He turns them over so that Satok is beneath him, and Spock’s breathe hitches. Satok looks incredibly beautiful, his cheeks flushed green and his usually carefully constructed hair in disarray. 

A feeling of longing thrums through Spock, but he immediately dismisses it when Satok thrusts his hips up. Spock crawls down his body, carefully pulling down his pants, barely taking in Satok’s cock before he takes it into his mouth. Hands suddenly grip at Spock’s hair, and he can feel the muscles move underneath his hands as Satok begins panting. Spock uses what he has learnt from his research, and bobs his head up and down, swirling his tongue around the cock and sucking particularly hard on the head. Satok tenses where he is, but doesn’t let go of Spock.

It’s just as Spock increases his pace when Satok pulls him off and up, slamming their mouths together. Spock’s eyes widen in surprise, but he doesn’t waste time in returning the very Human kiss. Satok manoeuvres them so that Spock is now lying beneath him, making sure to never break their kissing. He pulls down Spock’s own trousers, then divests himself of both of their shirts. Finally naked Satok takes both of Spock’s wrists into his own, and holds them next to his head.

“I wish to penetrate you now.” Satok says, and his voice comes out rough. It makes Spock shiver, and he nods.

“Prepare me.” He tells Satok, and the boy does as he’s told. Satok brings his fingers down to touch at Spock’s folds, attempting to gather as much lubrication as he can. Satok’s dark eyes never leave Spock as he fingers him, and the intensity of that stare causes Spock’s nipples to harden further and his lubrication to increase.

Once Satok deems his fingers are fully coated, he moves back to sit between Spock’s legs. “Part them.”

Spock willingly spreads his legs, and he hears a sharp intake of breathe from Satok. A gentle hand touches his inner thighs, rubbing a thumb across the flesh.

“You are exquisite.” Satok murmurs, entranced. Spock feels himself blush.

“Please, penetrate me.” He says, and right away he feels fingers touching at his hole. Spock tenses briefly in excitement, but allows himself to relax. One finger works its way into his body, and the sensation is foreign. Spock laments the fact that he didn’t attempt to try out fingering beforehand so he wasn’t surprised by the feeling.

He can feel Satok wiggling it around inside him, and he wonders how it must feel to have such an intimate part of yourself penetrating someone else. The finger slides in and out a few times, and then a second one joins it. It feels a little tighter, but Satok gently scissors his fingers to help loosen Spock’s muscles. Spock breathes deeply and relaxes his body further, allowing Satok to insert a third finger. Spock can feel his hole spasm around the digits, and the drag of them inside of him causes a shiver to run down his spine.

“Now, Satok.” He pants, spreading his legs a bit more. “Please, now.”

Satok’s dark eyes watch Spock, and he gently pulls out his fingers. Spock is reluctant to let them go, but when Satok positions himself so that his cock is at his entrance, excitement pulses through his veins. The initial breach is a little painful, but Satok goes slow, ensuring that Spock never experiences discomfort. He does not fully sheath himself inside of Spock on the first try, but gently rocks in and out, pushing his cock a little further inside each time. 

Spock can feel how his folds are coated with lubricant, and he keeps getting wetter the further in Satok thrusts. The stretch is intense but welcome, and Spock finds himself locking his legs over Satok’s waist. He can feel Satok’s surprise at the action, but he can’t fully appreciate it, not when his cock is pushing into him so wonderfully. 

Once fully seated, Satok allows Spock a moment to get accustomed to the feeling having someone inside him. “How do you feel?” He asks.

Spock rolls his hips gently, pulling Satok further towards him. “Move.” He gasps.

That is all the permission Satok needs. He leans down over Spock’s body, grabbing hold of his hands and captures his lips with his own. He kisses Spock in both the Vulcan way and the Human way, causing the boy to groan deeply. Satok begins thrusting into Spock, carefully at first, but when Spock shows nothing but enthusiasm, he increases his pace. He pulls out and slams back in, pushing himself as far into Spock as he can, and Spock absolutely loves it. He tightens his hold around Satok’s waist, returning his kisses with vigour. 

Spock extracts one of his hands from Satok’s and places them over his meld points, quickly sending a question through their skin. Satok’s reply is unrepentant approval, and Spock joins their minds. The thrusting grows frenzied and the kissing hurried, and after just a few moments they both climax.

The feeling of ejaculate inside Spock has him shivering, and he is certain Satok experiences how strongly Spock loved the feeling. They both remain unmoving, simply panting and trying to gather their breaths.

Spock realises two things during his comedown. The first is that sexual intercourse when in the receiving position is wonderful. The second is that he and Satok are not mentally compatible.

*

They engage in coitus on two more occasions before Spock reveals that he has no interest in the act any longer. Satok readily agrees to Spock’s wishes, but states that he still wishes to remain close. Spock gladly agrees, and the two of them fall back into being just friends.

*

It is fortunate that Satok and Spock remained friends, because when Spock reveals his wishes to attend Starfleet, Satok is the only being other than his mother who is supportive of his choice.

Spock certainly has the grades for it, he is familiar with Earth customs better than most Vulcans, and he has a strong wish of exploring the unknown that needs to be quenched.

“It is only logical,” Satok says during one of their video transmissions. “As a race, Vulcans seek to further their knowledge about the galaxy. There is no sole direction for logic, but several, and we should take every opportunity to explore it.”

It’s at times like this that Spock deeply wishes their mind meld had been successful or that their soulclocks matched. But they don’t, and Spock thinks that he’s happy he at least gets to have Satok as his friend. 

*

Spock gets into Starfleet without a hitch.

Amanda is incredibly proud of him and showers him with kisses, but only in the safety of their own home. Sarek is still disapproving of his choice, as he is still hearing word of how his son was the first Vulcan to deny entry into the VSA, but manages to remain quiet about it during Spock’s graduation. Satok congratulates him on getting accepted, and Spock returns the sentiment. Satok had chosen to attend the VSA, and he promises Spock he’ll share any important studies he encounters with him.

The move to Earth takes several months, but it still comes as a bit of surprise to Spock when it finally does happen. San Francisco is infinitely different from Vulcan, but he feels safe in that it is not entirely foreign to him. His mother calls him often during his first few months on Earth, inquiring about everything from his well-being, both mental and physical, to his time at the academy, to whether he has created a social circle yet. 

The truth is that Spock hasn’t created many friends, and he is slightly surprised by it. He had thought that his inability to make friends on Vulcan had been due to his hybrid status, but it seemed that since he was unable to create meaningful connections back home, he had no practice in creating meaningful connections in a new environment. The only friends Spock has managed to make are with his advisory professor, Christopher Pike, and a fellow classmate in Xenolinguistics, Nyota Uhura.

Though his circle of friends is incredibly sparse, Spock is content with the few people he knows. He still continues to engage in video transmissions with Satok, who with every call appears to be further enthralled with Spock’s time on Earth. His friend has a high interest in Earth and its culture, and in hindsight Spock realises that perhaps Satok’s initial attraction with him was his half-Human status. It’s a bitter thought, but the exchange did earn Spock a close friend, so he tries not to dwell on what started their friendship.

*

Sometimes his mother will lean close to the video camera and whisper, “Any news on your soulmate yet?”

Spock had informed Amanda when he started his research on the population of Riverside, and he had kept her closely updated whenever he found something new in accordance with his soulmate. Since meeting Satok however, Spock had stopped periodically looking further into who his soulmate might be. Amanda had asked him about it once, and when Spock blushed and said something about Satok she’d abandoned her questioning thinking Spock had found someone. 

But now that she knew they weren’t anything more than friends, she’d returned to asking him about it. His mother was a romantic at heart, and she always sought to see the best in others. Spock was still sometimes surprised that she had ended up with his father, who was stoic at the best of times, but whenever they engaged in their parental mind melds Spock understood that his father harboured deep feelings that he had to keep firmly hidden.

“Negative.” Spock informs her, and she pouts slightly.

“If it happens, it’ll happen. Don’t let my excitement get to you, dear.” She tells him.

Spock nods in understanding. He’s not worried about not having found his soulmate. When he was younger the idea bothered him a lot, but after having met Satok and several people at the academy, he’s not as worried about ever finding them. Uhura, too, hasn’t met her soulmate. 

“At least it’s handy for telling the time.” She laughs.

Christopher’s soulclock is also ticking despite him approaching fifty years of age. That bit of information fuels a large part of Spock’s fantasies about engaging in sexual intercourse with the man, which Spock finds himself briefly ashamed of. He says briefly, because Christopher is his friend and advisory teacher, but those factors quickly fall out the window in the face of Spock’s burgeoning attraction to the man’s steely blue eyes and air of authority.

He keeps his affections to himself, telling neither his mother nor Nyota, who is quickly growing to be one of Spock’s closest friends.

He does, however, tell Satok.

“It is only natural to wish to explore the unknown.” He tells Spock, his dark eyes piercing through the video screen.

“Not if the unknown can get you arrested and the other participant court-martialed.” Spock argues.

Satok is quiet for a moment, contemplating Spock’s words, then admits, “Perhaps not.”

*

Over the years, Spock’s affection for Pike dims and changes into deep respect for the man. Once he’s graduated he’s immediately recruited by Pike to serve aboard his starship, and Spock spends the next two years working closely with his friend and learning the ongoings of a starship. 

Since the crew consisted of less than one hundred beings, there was not always opportunity for people to engage in recreational activities. Free time became known as something that you spent alone, and Spock chose to spend it in his quarters. He had begun dabbling in computer technology and coding prior to the ship’s departure into space, and he had continued to learn from online programmes and trial and error. Spock didn’t like to brag, but it was safe to say he was more than proficient at computer programming, and it quickly became a hobby of his. He would spend much of his free time constructing programmes in his quarters, and had even managed to programme the computer to play chess against him, feeding in every single strategy he could get his hands and thus ensuring that it became unbeatable.

Christopher had visited his quarters once during his free hours, and was surprised at finding Spock running lines and lines of coding through his computer.

“What’s this?” He asks, coming to stand behind Spock.

“It is a programme I have been constructing for the past eight months.” Spock tells him. “It is a simulation I have created for training exercise purposes.”

“What sort of simulation?”

“The exercise situates the user in the midst of a simulated battle with Klingons in their Neutral Zone. The notion is that the starship has entered their zone, which will cause an interstellar incident. The user must then decide between attempting to rescue the crew, thus endangering the ship and their own lives, or to leave the starship to certain destruction.”

“That is interesting…” Christopher hums, leaning forward to get a closer look at the coding.

“Regardless of the choice, the starship will be destroyed. The primary goal of the exercise is to observe how the user reacts when confronted with a no-win scenario.”

“That’s real good, Spock.” Pike praises. “This is some advanced coding right here. Not that I know much about it, but it looks clean.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Christopher is still staring at the screen, rubbing his chin slowly. “Have you got a name for it?” He asks.

“I have called it the _Kobayashi Maru_.”


	2. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not nor will I ever own Star Trek.

Christopher pitches the _Kobayashi Maru_ simulation to the teaching board at Starfleet academy, and they accept it with open arms and bouts of praise. They even ask for Spock personally, wanting him to handle the prototyping process as well as the simulation’s testing. He’s being offered a permanent teaching position once the simulation has been completed, and since Spock’s mission aboard his current starship is coming to an end, he deems it only logical to accept their offer. Though he wishes to explore the stars further, he has a stronger desire to see his programme come to fruition. Besides, he has a long life ahead of him and can take up another position on a starship once he’s finished his work on Earth.

Spock gets introduced to three other programmers who will be working on his team, two of who are Human and one Orion. The Humans introduce themselves as Mathilde Vasquez and Dev Peters, respectively, and the Orion is called Gaila Ulero. Spock saves their names in the back of his mind, and when he goes home after his first day of preliminary meetings regarding the _Kobayashi Maru_ , he looks up their files on the Starfleet databanks.

All three of them have previous experience working in programming, Mathilde especially, who excelled in it from a young age and earned herself a scholarship to Starfleet academy from France. Gaila is a first year currently undertaking a joint Programming and Technological Developments course at Starfleet, and her file states she wishes to gain her Masters in Simulation Development. Dev is the oldest of the team by fourteen years, and has plenty of experience working in the IT department of various companies in Pakistan.

After re-reading their documents twice more Spock deems his team to be adequate. It will take him some time to grow to trust them, but if they are as good as their files make them out to be, then there should be no problem.

Over the course of the next few months Spock and his team work extensively on refining the _Kobayashi Maru_. They tackle a slew of problems that occur, such as updating the simulation programme, troubleshooting the system when it crashes several times, and creating a tight network that will protect it from tracking bugs. Mathilde even creates a programme that will trigger alarms and alert everyone on the team if the simulation is hacked, and Spock commends her for her innovation.

Once the simulation is completed, they test run it three times on themselves. The first test run causes some problems, and Spock has to re-write a minor part of the programme before re-running it. The second two test runs are successful, and after that they pitch the _Kobayashi Maru_ to the teaching board who waste no time in adding it to the curriculum.

Spock immediately calls his parents to inform them of this achievement, and it’s the first time in years that his father tells him he’s proud.

*

Spock will sometimes be reminded of his soulmate.

The media and tabloids on Earth focus on two things: celebrities that don’t wish to have their privacy intruded upon, and soulmates. There’s always a story about soulmates in the news, and always a couple talking about their own meeting and relationship. Spock hears about one couple on the radio who gush about how their soulmate bond is the most unique and amazing one to ever exist, but so does every other pair on Earth.

Spock will spot cadets at the academy having already found theirs, and he likes to observe their differences and similarities. He wonders how soulmates are decided, and proceeds to read extensively into the subject. What he comes up with is that apparently nobody knows how bonds work, and no one probably ever will.

He thinks that if it happens at random, then how can people be so sure that it’s accurate, or successful? Spock’s never heard of a pair of soulmates that haven’t been satisfied with their match, but he’s certain there must be some in the galaxy. He wants to argue how soulmates are chosen, but then he thinks of his parents, and he realises there could never be a world where they cross paths and don’t find they’re _t’hy’la_.

He wonders about other things too, like what his soulmate will be like. Will they enjoy the same books Spock does, and reading them in paper format, or will they prefer reading on PADDs? Will they be taller or shorter? Will they be of another species, like his father and mother? Will he alienate himself further from Vulcan and its culture? If they are of a different species, will they be able to communicate? Spock doesn’t think about gender, because the older he gets the more he realises the importance of mental compatibility. It is the most fundamental aspect needed in a successful relationship for Vulcans, and he is after all, half-Vulcan.

He wonders if he and his soulmate will behave like his mother and father. Amanda is Human, making her psinull and therefore unable to form a telepathic bond with Sarek. However, she can still undergo mind melds, and his parents do so often, more so than the average Vulcan couple.

Spock wonders if his soulmate will like him.

*

Spock and Satok continue to exchange video transmissions on a monthly basis, updating each other on their ongoings. Satok reveals that he has secured an internship on Earth, at a forensics company in New Delhi, India.

“I offer my dearest congratulations.” Spock tells him, and Satok bows his head in gratitude.

“Thank you, Spock. I must admit I am harbouring feelings of excitement at the prospect. However, as I will be performing my internship in India, it is essential that I visit a special Vulcan practitioner in order to practice strengthening and maintaining my mental shields.”

Spock nods in understanding. India is a hugely overpopulated country, and it would indeed be difficult for a Vulcan to live there. He’s surprised Satok is accepting the internship if it takes place in such a location, but his friend always did have a huge fascination with Earth. Oddly enough, Spock finds himself proud of Satok for having the courage to explore a new country.

“I am certain you will complete your training in time for your internship.”

“That is my desire.” Satok says. “Tell me, Spock, how fares the progress of your _Kobayashi Maru_ simulation?”

Spock takes a moment to think.

The _Kobayashi Maru_ has garnered quite the reputation on campus as being a challenging simulation, often leaving cadets shaken up or feeling some other strong emotions towards the programme.

The academy’s yearly reports have shown that since the introduction of the _Kobayashi Maru_ , more students dropped out this year in comparison to previous ones. Spock thinks it’s unfortunate, but the _Kobayashi Maru_ was created as a crucial test to help weed out weaker cadets who always entertained hopes of beating the odds. They have to be reminded that loss is an option, and sometimes it happens.

*

It’s three years later when Spock gets told that someone has beaten the _Kobayashi Maru_.

He hears about it, but doesn’t believe it. It’s only when he’s given a hard copy of the results that he realises it’s true. He’s surprised, and perplexed. He’s shocked, and intrigued. An array of emotions are fighting for his attention, but Spock pushes them aside in favour of the obvious.

The simulation was hacked.

Spock immediately looks into the _Kobayashi Maru_ , reading through lines and lines of coding for the better part of the week. He’s certain it must have been hacked somehow, because Spock himself had programmed the _Kobayashi Maru_ to be impossible to beat. That was the reason for its existence, to be unbeatable. Neither he nor anyone else on the programming team have been alerted of a breach in security, and when Spock looks over the programme Mathilde had created to identify any hacking, he notes that there’s nothing amiss with it.

It’s full proof, and that drives Spock into a fit of agitation. The simulation cannot be bested, it is _impossible_.

He can’t let it go, and spends the next four days combing through all the codes of the programme until finally he spots the breach. Spock traces it back to its source, and finds that it belongs to a detailed subroutine that surprisingly doesn’t exist.

Exist any longer, that is. By eliminating all other options, Spock realises the hack must have happened at the time of the simulation, and that once it was completed it immediately self-destructed, leaving not a single trace behind. However, the only way it could have been possible for the hack to occur is if it was activated from the coding section. Spock immediately comms Mathilde and asks her if she knows of anyone that could have done this. She informs him that she doesn’t know but will ask around. Spock comms Dev too, and tells him the same thing, but when he comms Gaila she inhales sharply.

“Gaila?” Spock asks calmly.

There is a brief silence before Gaila’s words rush out. “I’m so sorry, Spock, I had no idea Jim would fuck it up so bad, I thought it was just something dumb like a datachip with Old Earth music on it, he’s really into that stuff, and I thought he just wanted me to play it during the simulation for kicks, I had no idea it was a bug and oh my God, it’s all my fault, I’m so, so, _sorry_!”

“Gaila.” Spock says firmly, uncomfortable with her pleading. “Please explain to me in a concise manner what occurred.”

Jim hears Gaila sigh. “This guy… Jim— Jim Kirk— he’s kind of a friend of mine, and he was doing the _Kobayashi Maru_ simulation. He asked me if I could run a datachip during his test, and he joked about it being his favourite tune. I took it literally, and didn’t think anything of it. When he entered the simulation I inserted the datachip, and it activated a subroutine that re-routed the margins of the _Kobayashi Maru_ for a brief period, which enabled him to complete the simulated emergency.”

“I see.” Spock nods. “Gaila, I will need you to send me a recording of your verbal confession.”

“What… what’re you going to do with it?” She asks, voice small.

“I intend to prosecute the cadet who tricked you into helping them cheat.”

Spock hears Gaila sigh in relief. “I see.”

“Please ensure that I have the recording by tomorrow morning.” Spock tells her, then hangs up.

There. He has evidence of the simulation being hacked, which means the cadet had absolutely cheated. As soon as Spock procures hard copies of the evidence found, he’s going to send them to Starfleet Command along with a formal request for an academic tribunal in regards to the cheating.

The cadet, a James T. Kirk, will stand for their crimes.

*

Starfleet Command has gotten back to Spock about his request, and informed him that the tribunal will take place in two weeks’ time. Spock thinks the waiting period is longer than appropriate, but it gives him time to read through the cadet’s file.

James T. Kirk was born into a Starfleet family, his mother the known engineer Winona Kirk, and his father the hero of the Kelvin incident, George Kirk. Looking at the cadet’s file photo, Spock has to admit there are striking similarities between the two of them. How odd that father and son should end up so differently; one a hero, one a delinquent.

Spock continues to keep his parents updated about his time on Earth, and his mother asks for more details when he mentions that someone has cheated on his simulation. Satok, too, seems interested in hearing more about the cheating. For the time being he and Spock can’t engage in video transmissions, but need to leave each other video messages as Satok is currently in deep space aboard a Vulcan science vessel.

He tells Spock that he’s practicing maintaining his shields at full capacity, but that it’s a draining task. Spock sends him a supportive message about how proper training and determination will help Satok achieve his goals. It’s a bit on the Human emotionalism side, but Spock knows his friend will appreciate the sentiment.

*

The academic tribunal takes place on a Tuesday afternoon, and is held in front of a small audience in a gigantic lecture hall. Spock is already seated in the pews, awaiting the cadet’s arrival. He watches as the admirals on the council whisper to one another, chuckling amongst themselves, but as soon as the door opens they fall into professionalism.

Spock hears footsteps approach in the silence, and then sees a figure dressed in the regulation red uniform walk past him up to the board of admirals. The figure crosses their hands behind their back.

“Admirals.” A deep voice rings through the room.

“James Tiberius Kirk.” Admiral Barnett acknowledges with a nod. There are a few moments of silence where the admirals seem to exchange PADDs and a couple of whispered words, then Barnett turns back to face the cadet. “Cadet, evidence has been submitted to this council suggesting that you violated the ethical code of conduct pursuant to Regulation One-Seven point three of the Starfleet Code. Is there anything you care to say before we begin, sir?”

The man’s voice is loud and clear in the lecture hall. “Yes, I believe I have the right to face my accuser directly.”

Spock takes this as his cue to stand. His movements in the silence of the large room creates some noise, and it attracts the cadet’s attention. Spock catches sight of the man’s face and is struck by how handsome he is. His Starfleet file photo had shown he had very symmetrical features, but Spock hadn’t realised the how big the difference would be in person.

“Step forward please.” Admiral Barnett announces.

Spock silently approaches the council, falling into parade rest next to the cadet. The man gives Spock a brief glance before looking back at the admirals.

“This is Commander Spock, he is one of our most distinguished graduates. He’s programmed the _Kobayashi Maru_ exam for the last four years.” Admiral Barnett explains, and then deliberately looks to Spock. “Commander.”

Spock takes a small breath, and then begins. “Cadet Kirk, you somehow managed to install and activate a subroutine programming code therefore changing the conditions of the test.”

“Your point being?” Cadet Kirk asks.

Admiral Barnett beats Spock to the explanation, his voice clear in the silent room. “In academic vernacular: you cheated.”

There was a moment of hush before the cadet spoke. “Let me ask you something,” He started, then said his next words in a murmur. “That I think we all know the answer to. The test itself is a cheat, isn’t it? You programmed it to be unwinnable.”

“Your argument precludes the possibility of a no-win scenario.” Spock states.

Cadet Kirk throws Spock an unimpressed look. “I don't believe in no-win scenarios.”

“Then, not only did you violate the rules, you also failed to understand the principle lesson.” Spock scolds, not appreciating how the cadet was treating the accusations so trivially.

“Please, enlighten me.” The cadet says, gesturing openly.

Spock holds his gaze, and declares in an even tone, “You of all people should know, Cadet Kirk. A Captain cannot cheat death.”

There’s a slight change in the man’s face. His expression is stony, but Spock can see the fierceness in his eyes. “I of all people.” He repeats.

“Your father, Lieutenant George Kirk, assumed command of his vessel before being killed in action, did he not?”

Cadet Kirk shakes his head and smiles. “I don't think you like the fact that I beat your test?”

“Furthermore, you have failed to divine the purpose of the test.” Spock barrages on.

“Enlighten me again.”

“The purpose is to experience fear. Fear in the face of certain death. To accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and one's crew. This is a quality expected in every Starfleet captain.”

As Spock says the words, he can see the intensity of the cadet’s gaze lessening. There is a deafening silence once Spock finishes talking. The admirals are all looking at cadet Kirk, the small audience is too as well as Spock.

Everyone’s eyes in the room are on James T. Kirk.

The cadet is staring at down at his feet, looking to be deep in thought. He finally licks his lips and looks up at the council, his face open and earnest.

“I plead the fifth.”

*

James Kirk will not be charged for cheating.

When the verdict is announced to the room at large, Spock feels himself freeze up. This should not be happening. By all means the council should see the evidence Spock has submitted and know that the cadet is at fault, that they have committed a crime, a serious breach of security and they should be incarcerated.

But instead the council returns to the room from where they’ve just discussed the trial, Admiral Barnett takes his seat, picks up his PADD, and loudly announces that James T. Kirk has been dismissed of all charges held against him.

Spock isn’t paying attention. His mind is racing. He had put his trust into the justice system, had believed that the law would recognise the error in James Kirk’s actions and pull him out of Starfleet academy. But they did not, and the man is free. Spock needs to speak to the council immediately.

His feet are already moving before he knows it, and he belatedly realises he’s following the small crowd of people out of the room. There’re a few murmurs between them as they shuffle along, but Spock’s trying to get through as quickly as possible. His number one objective at this time is to make his way straight to Admiral Barnett’s office and demand an explanation. He weaves through a few people who are dragging their feet, and makes an exit into the hallway. He’s just about to rush off when a voice calls out.

“Spock!” Spock turns around and spots Christopher Pike walking toward him, dressed in civilian clothing.

“Christopher.” Spock says, surprised at seeing his friend in the flesh.

The man comes to a stop in front of Spock, and smiles. “It’s good to see you.”

“Likewise. I was not aware you were planetside.”

“Yeah, I am, but just for a few days. Luckily I managed to make it down in time for the tribunal.” He chuckles.

“You wished to be present for it?” Spock asks, confused.

Pike nods slowly, and Spock can see he’s contemplating something. “Let’s go for a walk, Spock.” He says.

*

Spock doesn’t often get the time to wander the campus grounds, but on the few occasions where he walked through it he’d observed there was a certain beauty to be seen. The trees were tall and sprouting green leaves, which during autumn would change into the darker shades that the season brought with it. The landscape was vast, and during good weather cadets would sit outside and soak up the sun.

Spock and Christopher were slowly ambling down one of the campus’ paths, at ease with the silence that was hanging between them. A cadet walking their dog passed them, and Christopher turned his head to follow its departure. He had always been a fan of dogs, but was unfortunately allergic.

“I hear you were the one who submitted incriminating evidence against Jim.” Christopher says conversationally.

“He cheated.”

“I know, Spock.” Christopher sighs. “It was a real clever way too, but unfortunately he got caught. I had to pull some serious strings to get him off the hook.”

“Your involvement was the cause for his release?” Spock asks, shocked. He comes to a sudden stop. “That is illegal.“

Christopher stares at him, a small smile playing at his lips. “Spock, when have I ever made a decision that wasn’t for the greater good?”

Spock takes a moment to ponder the question, but he can’t recall a single incident. “I do not understand.”

Christopher sighs, then continues walking. “You’re too narrow-minded, Spock. Just because someone beat your simulation you think they’re bad.”

“They cheated.” Spock repeats, falling into step beside his friend.

“Yeah, but did you look into how he went about that? Jim still beat your test, one that is known for being notoriously impossible to beat, and he did it successfully. The only reason he got caught is because you were suspicious and looked into it.”

Spock falls silent. He doesn’t understand why Christopher is trying to normalise cadet Kirk’s violation of Starfleet regulations. He never would have thought his friend and former captain would be one to condone cheating.

The silence hangs heavy between them as they keep walking.

Christopher huffs and says, “All I’m saying is that Jim Kirk has street smarts as well as book smarts, and that’s a rare combination. We’d best make sure he uses it for good instead of wasting it away.”

“He is of use to you.” Spock realises.

“To all of us, Spock.” Christopher corrects. “I suggest you take a deeper look into his file. I know you’ve already read the basics.” He throws Spock an amused look.

*

The first thing Spock does when he arrives home is pull up the Starfleet database on his PADD and type in ‘James T. Kirk’ into its search engine. Immediately one file, and one file only, pops up. Spock has already read through the basics about the cadet, and so he plays around with some codes until he unlocks the sealed version of the file. He accesses it and takes the time to diligently read through every bit of information contained.

The cadet’s name is James Tiberius Kirk, and he was born on stardate 2233.04 in intergalactic space. He was raised on a family-owned farm in—

In Riverside, Iowa.

Spock feels his heart beat faster. It’s an irrational reaction to finding out a location, but it’s something he has no control over. Quickly gathering his wits, Spock reads on.

James Kirk is the son of Winona Kirk, a Starfleet engineer currently positioned aboard the _U.S.S. Meridian_ , and George Kirk, former lieutenant and captain of the infamous _U.S.S Kelvin_. Cadet Kirk has an older brother called Samuel Kirk, who currently resides on Deneva with his wife where he works as research biologist. After the death of his father, Winona Kirk re-married a man named Frank Turner who would be the sole housekeeper when Winona was away on missions.

Spock quirks a brow. It’s unclear if you’re not paying attention, but Spock is paying very close attention, and so he can see that there’s a wider margin between the paragraph he’s just finished and the next. These margins are only ever present when information has been erased from a document. Spock forces himself to ignore his curiosity and the missing data for now, and continue to read.

The cadet has a history of delinquency from the ages fourteen up until his recruitment into Starfleet, done by one Christopher Pike. There’s a copy of his criminal record attached to the file, which Spock makes note to read through once he has finished this one.

James Kirk is studying the Command Track at Starfleet academy and undergoing the accelerated course. Spock finds himself impressed despite his negative opinion of the cadet. He reads on, and finds out that Kirk has undertaken the _Kobayashi Maru_ simulation twice before, failing them both times, as all who undertook it were bound to do.

James Kirk’s psych evaluations are some of the strongest Spock has ever seen, and a thorough read through of his reports in class reveal the man to be not only vastly intelligent but also possessing high integrity. Spock hacks into the Starfleet teaching database and extracts a copy of an essay cadet Kirk had written for his ‘Cultural Ethics’ class.

It is written clearly, well evaluated and cadet Kirk has analysed the topic from every perceivable angle. He received top marks on the essay, which Spock admits is fitting. He pulls up two more of the cadet’s essays and reads them closely, finding them to be as strongly written as his ‘Cultural Ethics’ paper.

Spock thinks he understands what Christopher meant when he told Spock that cadet Kirk was not only intelligent in the academic sense, but also in the ways of knowing the world. He has yet to read through cadet Kirk’s criminal record, but from what he has read in his official Starfleet file Spock surmises that it is very likely that the cadet has used their intelligence for devious purposes in the past. And also in the present it seems.

Despite the bulk of information Spock has taken in, he’s not willing to look past the fact that James Kirk cheated on his simulation. It’s something he’ll never look past.

*

Christopher Pike is the bane of Spock’s existence and no longer his dear friend.

He had messaged Spock earlier that week asking if he was free to meet in his office on Thursday afternoon. Spock was, and readily agreed, and together they planned to meet at 14:30. It allowed for Spock to tend to his duties in the morning, and also partake in a bout of meditation before the designated meeting time.

Once at the location however, Spock is greeted with none other than James Kirk leaning against his office door, looking bored. As Spock nears, the cadet turns to face the oncoming footsteps.

Spock sees his eyes widen. “What’re you doing here?” He asks.

“This is my office.” Spock explains, motioning at the room. His name is not on the door, but it’s the room Starfleet academy have temporarily given him until they can acquire a proper office space. Cadet Kirk looks back at the door, then at Spock.

“What the fuck?”

“Jim! Spock!” A voice calls from down the hallway, and both men turn towards it. Christopher Pike is walking towards them with a big smile plastered across his face. “I’m so glad you both could make it.”

“What’s the meaning of this, Pike?” Cadet Kirk asks immediately, irritation marring his face.

“Now, now, Jim, calm down.” Christopher placates, waving his hand at the cadet. “There’s nothing insidious going on here. I just wanted to talk to you both about an offer I had in mind.”

“I don’t trust it.” Cadet Kirk grumbles, his eyes narrowing.

“Come on, Jim, you’ve not even heard it.”

“I still don’t trust it.” The cadet argues.

Christopher rolls his eyes and motions towards the door. “If it’s not too much trouble Spock, could we have this conversation in your office?”

Spock is uneasy about what Christopher wants to speak to both him and cadet Kirk about, but he nods and takes out his keycard. Once inside the office, Christopher turns to the two of them with a smile.

“So, Spock. Did you read up on Jim’s file like I told you to?”

Cadet Kirk whips around to face Spock. “ _What_.”

“I have.” Spock confirms, ignoring the cadet’s burning gaze.

Christopher nods. “Very good. And Jim, did you read up on Spock’s profile, which I didn’t tell you to do but you probably did anyway?”

Cadet Kirk turns to Christopher, his mouth hanging open in indignation. “I did _not_.”

Christopher throws him an exasperated look. “Try again.”

“I didn’t!” The cadet complains.

Spock turns to look at him, curious as to his strong denial. Christopher too continues to stare at the man, his expression not changing. One moment of silence passes, then two, and finally the cadet sighs.

“Alright, fine, I did.” He admits.

“Thought so.” Christopher says. “That’s great. So now you both know the basics about each other, though they were found out through unethical means. And don’t think I don’t know you both hacked further into each other’s files, I know curiosity is a dangerous vice for the both of you.”

Spock feels a wave of shame come over him at the words, aware that they are very true.

“Anyway, I called you both together here because I have an idea. Now I want you to listen to it through to the end before you say you hate it, okay? I’m looking at you Jim.” Christopher says, throwing cadet Kirk a look. He gazes at him for a long moment, then straightens himself. “Right. Spock, I think you should teach Jim advanced command training.”

“With all due respect, sir—“

“Pike, what the fuck? No!”

“Both of you, _hush_!”

Spock and cadet Kirk both fall immediately silent, Christopher’s voice still ringing clear through the room. The man wipes at his forehead, and mumbles something about ‘I fucking told you to wait’.

He then looks up, and begins slowly. “Listen carefully now, and don’t make me raise my voice again. Spock, I think it would be good if you were to teach Jim advanced command training. I want you to teach him physical tactics, hand-to-hand training, and field training, among other things. He’s got a lot of potential and I’d really like to see him make use of it. You’re one of Starfleet’s most distinguished graduates, have undergone the accelerated course, and you have experience being aboard a starship; you’re a perfect fit for the job.”

A quick glance at cadet Kirk reveals him to be just as vexed as Spock, if not even more so, at the mere suggestion. Spock thinks for a brief moment that it’s comforting to know they share a mutual dislike for the idea.

“You’re joking, right?” Cadet Kirk asks, incredulous.

“Not at all, Jim. You said you wanted to become the best Captain in the fleet, well, then you’re going to need the best training we have at hand. And believe me, Spock is the best.” Christopher grins, coming to clap Spock on the shoulder.

“Sir, I thank you for your kind words, however I find myself echoing Cadet Kirk’s words. I believe this match to be unwise.” Spock says.

Christopher gives him a long, hard look, then shrugs. “That’s fine.”

“Woaw, seriously?” Cadet Kirk blinks, obviously surprised at the easy acceptance.

“Not for you.” Christopher says, stepping back. “Without Spock’s help I’m sad to say that it’ll take you the customary four years to complete your diploma at Starfleet.”

“But I need to complete it in _three_.” Cadet Kirk argues.

“Not possible without Spock’s help.” Christopher shakes his head.

The cadet looks to Spock, anger in their eyes but determination set in their shoulders. “Why? I can just complete it on my own, I don’t need his help.”

“Jim, do you know what I had to convince the council of in order to let you get off without any charges?” Cadet Kirk shakes his head. “I told them that you had agreed to take on training from Spock as a means of making up for hacking his simulation.”

“What?” The cadet exclaims, eyes widening. “Why the hell would you do that?”

“I, too, wish to know what possessed you to lie.” Spock says, stepping forward. Christopher’s behaviour has been entirely erratic since he returned back to Earth. Spock can’t make sense of it.

Christopher looks to Spock, his eyes cold and calculating. “It’s not a lie. You will teach Jim extracurricular lessons.”

“Why?” Spock persists.

Christopher sighs, and Spock can a break in his façade. He looks drained, and his voice is tired when he speaks. “Please, Spock. I’m asking you as a friend. I need this favour from you.”

Spock allows for the words to sink in.

As a friend.

Christopher has always been dear to him, both as a friend and a mentor. He treated Spock well throughout their acquaintance, even taking Spock under his wing during his first voyage into outer space.

Spock is grateful for Christopher and his existence, as the man has constantly supported and encouraged Spock in every endeavour he’s chosen to undertake. He is, through and through, a true friend.

Spock looks to cadet Kirk, who is already looking at him. He can see the emotions roiling behind those blue eyes. The man clearly dislikes the match, but is still standing his ground. Spock thinks that if this cadet can withstand their training, then he too can persevere.

It seems the main thing he and cadet Kirk have in common is a mutual dislike for the same things.

*

Spock’s first few lessons withc cadet Kirk are quiet, neither of them exchanging any more words than absolutely necessary in order to practice defensive moves. He ensures that his shields are tightly maintained, and has even added in two extra hours of meditation every week to help him keep his mental balance. Spock is pleased to find out that Kirk already seems to know the majority of basic defense moves, and so he spends the first lesson honing them. Kirk picks up on advice quickly and follows Spock’s instructions to the tee, which is a surprise since Spock had thought Kirk would be a stubborn student based off of their prior interactions.

They still have almost an hour left when Spock has ascertained that Kirk knows the defensive moves as well as he will, and continues to teach Kirk the stances he’s unfamiliar with. Spock notes that the cadet has got a strong build and powerful muscles which are incredibly useful in the field. Spock himself has a lean body, but hidden strength, which is a precious weapon during fights. He is firm in the belief that using the opponent’s impression of you, especially if they’re negative, against them is one of the best attacks there is. It is always useful to be well-versed in the art of misdirection or trickery during combat, be it hand-to-hand or on the field.

Their second lesson follows in very much the same manner, but this time Spock shows Kirk how to execute attacks. He notices that for both lessons Kirk has worn a faded gray t-shirt and loose pants, along with a bracelet made out of faux leather. It’s tightly wrapped around his wrist, and Spock surmises that it’s where Kirk’s soulclock is hidden. Some people are private about their soulclocks, preferring to keep it to themselves rather than displaying it openly like the majority of the galaxy.

Despite it protecting Kirk’s soulclock, it is a weakness in the battlefield, and one which Spock shamelessly makes use of. During one of their practice fights, he snags a hold of Kirk’s bracelet, and making use of the man’s surprise, twists around and pushes Kirk’s arm behind his own back. Kirk lets out a frustrated groan and a muttered “ _fuck_.”

The bracelet is one of Kirk’s key weaknesses, and Spock knows that he knows, but still Kirk refuses to remove it. He rubs at it when he’s frustrated, and plays with the hem when he’s thinking. It’s an interesting behaviour to observe. They practice hand-to-hand combat often, Spock wishing to start every lesson with three matches at the start, and three at the end. Kirk displays quick and swift movements, but he tends to attack first and think second. It allows Spock to make use of his confusion when he gets a successful punch in, and throw him to the ground.

Each time Kirk lets out a string of colourful curses, but he always gets right back up on his feet and falls back into the opening fight stance. Spock can respect determination and endurance, and Kirk possess both in great quantities. In all honesty, Spock is surprisingly impressed with Kirk Kirk’s abilities in the command training classes. He has integrity, a strong will to succeed, and more often than not utilises the array of skills he has to the best of his performance.

But Spock doesn’t say any of it out aloud. If there’s one thing he’s learnt from their lessons, other than that Kirk keeps continuously surprising him, it’s that there’s no need to stroke Kirk’s ego. He does it entirely too well himself.

*

“ _Damn it._ ” Kirk hisses from where he’s lying on the floor. Spock had just intercepted his attack and flipped Kirk over onto his back, punching the air out of his lungs.

“Again.” Spock says, leaning over him.

“Yeah, I know.” Kirk sighs, and struggles to get up. He lets out a wince and Spock reaches forward to help him up. He gently grasps Kirk’s elbow, but as soon as he touches the man’s skin he pulls back. Spock stares at Kirk, watching as he single-handedly pulls himself up to his feet.

He feels as if he’s been burned.

When Spock had touched Kirk’s skin, he’d felt the man’s strong dislike for him pierce through his chest like an arrow. The intensity of the emotion had shocked Spock, which caused him to immediately release Kirk and put distance between them. He's still feeling the echoing remnants of the hatred when Kirk looks at Spock and motions at himself.

“Come on, then. Another go.” He says, falling into the opening defensive stance.

It takes Spock longer than usual to mimic the stance, and he’s not entirely present during their next fight. He can still feel shivers of Kirk’s dislike crawling over his skin like fingernails on a chalkboard.

*

The incident stays on Spock’s mind. He knows people dislike him, it’s not possible for someone to gain the approval of everyone they come across, but he’s never felt it before. It makes him wonder if everyone who dislikes him feels that strongly.

He hates to admit that the feeling is an awful one.

Spock turns on his PADD and begins creating a message for Satok. He chooses to send a written message as opposed to a video message, as it allows him to easily edit and re-edit it before sending it off. Satok is the one person he feels comfortable sharing these thoughts with. His mother would be delighted and Spock would be embarrassed, and Spock thinks his father wouldn’t know how to handle his primarily Vulcan son experiencing feelings. He doesn’t even deem Uhura to be a possible candidate to share these thoughts with since she’d just tell him to embrace his Human feelings.

But Spock doesn’t want to embrace them, he just wants to tell someone about them, and that’s it. Satok is and always had been a good listener, somehow always knowing when to help and when to stay silent. He thinks Satok might be be highly empathetic, but he’s not sure if he’s ever gotten tested. Spock adds another paragraph to his message inquiring about Satok’s empathy levels.

*

The lessons with Kirk are slow going, but they are faring better than the initial ones. Kirk has eased up slightly when around Spock, and isn’t as guarded or tight-lipped. They still don’t talk much, and when they do it’s strictly kept to the advanced command training or anything related to physical tactics. Spock’s happy with the groove they’ve developed between the two of them. It’s entirely professional and focuses on nothing but the tasks at hand, and once they’re done for the day they part ways and don’t cross paths until the next lesson.

Spock is pleased to note that now when they engage in hand-to-hand combat, Kirk will take his time calculating his moves before striking. Though normally Spock would discourage thinking for too long when figuring out tactical attacks, he allows Kirk the time in the hopes that it will come more naturally to him the more they practice. Spock is hoping to broaden both Kirk’s speed when it comes to decision-making under pressure, and his ability to think ahead by several steps.

Though their lessons so far are mainly focusing on physical combat, Spock wants Kirk to engage in other areas of command too. He looks into other activities Kirk can try out, and secures a slot with the Xenolinguistics Society where he intends for Kirk to practice his diplomatic skills. He’s yet to see how Kirk handles diplomacy, but he believes that engaging with the members of the Xenolinguistics Society, a set of beings from all over the galaxy, is a good starting point.

Spock also wants Kirk to have some further experience in engineering, other than what Starfleet offers theirs Command Track cadets, and so he sends a mass message to several shipyards all across the U.S., asking if they were willing to take on a cadet for short-term practical training. He makes sure to specify that the maximum length of time the cadet can undergo the practical work is two weeks. Several of them get back to him positively, but his eyes are drawn to one of them in particular.

_Dear Mr. Spock,_

_We are delighted that you have contacted us about one of your cadets conducting practical work at our shipyard, and we’re happy to say that we have room for them._

_We are able to offer them accommodation for the stated two weeks you asked for, but unfortunately cannot provide them with catering. We hope this will not deter you from choosing us as a placement option, as we are always happy to take on new cadets._

_We can sign the cadet up to start practical work as soon as Friday next week, but if that’s too early, we can arrange for them to start at the end of the month._

_We look forward to hearing from you._

_All the best,_  
Lupita Ross,  
_Riverside Shipyard_

Riverside.

As always, when Spock reads that word, his heart rate increases. It’s irrational, and strange, and Spock knows it’s nothing more than wishful thinking, but still he can’t help himself from sending off an acceptance of their offer.

It’s nearing twenty years now since his soulclock had stopped. Spock really thought he’d gotten over his quest of finding his soulmate, and when he thinks about it, there’s no genuine wish to go out and look for them. But whenever the location of Riverside crosses his path, he can’t help but feel a certain longing.

It’s foolish to have such a reaction to the name of a location, but it keeps happening, and Spock just keeps trying to bury his response.

*

At the start of their next training session Spock informs Kirk that he will be partaking in practical training in the engineering department, explaining his wishes for Kirk to gain more experience than the academy provides.

Kirk nods in approval. “Cool, I could do with some more hands on experience.”

“I entertained similar thoughts.”

“So where’re we going?”

“We will be spending two weeks at the shipyard in Riverside, Iowa.” Spock reveals.

“Ugh, Riverside,” Kirk groans.

Spock is surprised at the reaction. “I would have thought you would be pleased to return to your hometown.”

Kirk rolls his eyes. “No offense, Spock, but the reason I joined Starfleet was so that I could explore _new_ worlds, not the same old hick town I came from.”

“I see.”

Spock understands. He had thought Kirk would be excited to go back to his hometown since in his experience, Humans always put a large emotional weight on where they came from, but he hadn’t thought that Kirk might be someone who didn’t share those sentiments. It was only natural that someone who wishes to explore deep space would want to experience new things, not what they already know.

Spock feels as if he’s made a mistake. He’d let his own selfish whimsical desires affect his decision, and not letting logic dictate as was appropriate. It’s too late to change the location now. Spock has to remind himself that they’re not going to Riverside to explore, but so that Kirk can get two weeks of practical training.

For some reason he mentions, “My soulmate is from Riverside.”

He doesn’t understand why he reveals it, but maybe it’s because he’s hoping Kirk will know who they are.

Kirk turns to Spock, mouth open and eyes wide. “You have a soulmate?”

Spock nods once.

“Who? What’s their name? Do I know them?” Kirk asks excitedly, getting far too close to Spock than was appropriate.

“I do not know.” Spock says, stepping back. He already regrets letting that bit of information slips. Kirk looks as if he wants to ask more, so Spock quickly diverts. “Kirk, show me the stance you would use when confronted with an unarmed Gorn.”

Kirk frowns, clearly not pleased with the sudden change in topic, but he stays quiet and falls into position.

*

They take separate shuttles to Riverside, but arrange to meet an hour before Kirk’s practical training starts and head to the shipyard together. Kirk waivers the offer of accommodation, saying he’ll be staying at his family home instead since it’s free. Spock doesn’t even have to pretend like he’s surprised by the information since Kirk already knows Spock’s looked into his file.

Spock arranges to stay at a hotel in Riverside, and some long-buried sentimentality has him booking the same hotel he and his parents stayed at the last time he visited the town. There’ve been more hotels built since then, but Spock feels more comfortable staying somewhere he’s somewhat familiar with.

Spock oversees the first three days of Kirk’s training, promising himself he won’t help him at all. It’s frustrating at times when Kirk gets stuck with a particular problem that Spock could easily solve, but he always manages to either solve it himself or ask one of the other people working at the shipyard for help. Spock is pleased that Kirk is seeking the help of those around him, as that’s a fundamental skill starship captains need to possess; knowing when to put aside their own rank and seek the aid of their crew.

By the end of Kirk’s first week Spock has left the cadet to work on their own, and instead has accepted an offer of being shown around the shipyard. Spock’s name is becoming more known among members of Starfleet, and they’re excited to be able to show him around their workplace.

Spock is pleased to see how the place has changed since he last was here, transforming from a vast wasteland into a shipyard that’s brimming with life and commotion. He remembers the last time he was here, barely reaching up to his mother’s hip, and now he’s a grown adult with a distinguished Starfleet career, back at the same place.

The place where he crossed paths with his soulmate, a voice reminds him.

Spock reveals to Ms. Myanma, the woman guiding him around, that he’s visited the shipyard once before, when it was nothing more than an empty lot. He wonders if the woman who guided them around the first time was still here, but he’s sure he won’t be able to recognise her now. Humans age much faster than Vulcans, and Spock surmises she must be retired by now. Ms. Myanma is delighted to find out that Spock’s been here before, and they converse about how different Riverside is now compared to twenty years ago. It turns out she’s been a resident of Riverside for over thirty years now, though she was born in Buffalo, New York.

Spock briefly wonders if she might be his soulmate, but that thought is quickly shot down when Ms. Myanma talks about how her wife had trouble settling in the town when they first arrived.

Spock inwardly sighs. It was a silly thought. There was no evidence to show that Ms. Myanma could have been his soulmate, but since arriving in the town his brain has been on high alert, his eyes seeking out the wrist of every person he encounters.

Perhaps it had been unwise to come to Riverside.

*

That night Spock receives a video message from Satok. He opens it up and is greeted by the familiar face of his friend. His features have changed slightly, but those dark eyes remain the same. In the message Satok reveals that he’s not undertaken an empathy analysation test, but will seek to do so once he’s back on Vulcan. He also informs Spock that he will be finishing his work aboard the Vulcan science vessel in three months’ time, but wishes to pay Earth a visit before heading back to Vulcan.

Spock is delighted his friend will be stopping by, and he immediately records a video message stating he will ensure he’s free for Satok’s visit.

*

Montgomery Scott (‘call me Scotty, lads’) is one of the brightest minds in engineering Spock has ever had the pleasure of meeting, as well as one of the most violently creative. He speaks in a broad Scottish accent and utilises a certain Standard vernacular common to his home country.

Spock struggles to understand the man. Cadet Kirk, on the other hand, takes to him like a duck to water. It doesn’t surprise Spock as they both possess great intelligence and a driven ambition to succeed in their tasks. Whereas Scotty puts his focus on engineering, Kirk concentrates on trying to master everything. The two grow to be fast friends, and Scotty must think Spock is a friend of Kirk’s because at the end of the first week at Riverside he invites the two of them out for drinks.

“I’m telling yous, they do not hold back on the alcohol round these parts.” He grins.

Spock is not one prone to partaking in drinking, social or otherwise, and so he declines. But that doesn’t deter engineer Scott. If anything, he re-doubles his efforts of getting Spock out, regaling him of tales of the many bars that exist in Riverside, of the people they’ll meet and the best pints this side of the States. None of these options interest Spock, but the engineer’s enthusiasm is so strong he briefly hesitates. That seems to be good enough reason for the man, because he grins widely and calls to Kirk.

“Jim! Yous, me, and Spock, out drinking ourselves under the table tonight! What do you say?”

Spock can’t see the cadet, but he hears his confirmation loud and clear. “Fuck me up, man!”

*

As an old native in the town, cadet Kirk recommends a bar that he claims give excellent service. Spock isn’t entirely sure he and Kirk’s definition of service is the same, especially not with the way he and Scott share a grin. They head to it after Scott has clocked out of his shift, all three of them ambling along the dark path into town. Spock wonders if the bar is one of the ones Kirk got into fights at.

Their trek through the town is uneventful, but Spock notices that several people say ‘hello’ to Kirk, and others openly display hostility. He thinks that his and Scott’s company is keeping an altercation from occurring, though it is curious as to why these people act so aggressive towards cadet Kirk.

The man must see something in Spock’s face, because he says, “I wasn’t exactly well-liked by some.” He shrugs. “Got into a lot of fights.”

Somehow that is extremely appropriate for Kirk and also the most outrageous thing Spock can think of.

The bar ends up being a rambunctious, dim-lit place where the stench of alcohol is prominent. Spock’s certain it’s not only in the air, but stained against the seating, bar, and from the way his shoes stick when he walks, the floor too. Kirk shuffles Spock and Scott to a seating area in the corner, and then immediately leaves to fetch them all drinks. Spock’s perplexed by this, as he did not reveal his choice of beverage to the man.

Spock and Scott converse about theoretical physics and the possibility of creating a warp factor faster than the current ten that exist, when Kirk returns with three glasses of beer ten minutes later. Spock’s never had beer before, and the appearance isn’t enticing, but he still tries it. He has no strong opinions on it, and so he continues to consume it.

The three of them stay in the seating area for another three hours, conversing amongst themselves and going through several beers. Well, Scott and Kirk drink through several beers. After the first one Spock decides to stick to water, and even though his company complained they didn’t force anything on him.

Spock spends most of his time listening to Scott and Kirk speak, strangely finding himself enjoying their company. The two of them have an easy comradery, one Spock finds admirable considering they’ve known each other for less than a week. Their manner of speaking is different, but the speed at which they exchange words is similar, and they laugh at the same jokes. Spock finds himself enthralled when Scott dives further into the possibility of a new warp factor, explaining how he has a theory he’s working on that could make it a reality.

Somewhere along the line Scott shares stories about his homeland, in particular his home city of Aberdeen. He reiterates tales of the brightness of the stars, the mist in the moors, and the singing of drunkards after a subway crawl. Cadet Kirk laughs at every word out of his mouth, and Spock is certain he is inebriated.

At one point Kirk grins lazily and slurs, “Did you know, Scotty, that Spock’s soulmate is from Riverside?”

Engineer Scott turns to Spock with his mouth open. “Get out of here, lad!”

“I am comfortable where I am.” Spock replies.

Kirk laughs, and gently reaches over to nudge him in the shoulder. “Nice.”

Scott leans forward in his seat, eyes focused on Spock. “Go on, man, let’s hear it. How did yous two meet?” He then blinks, and asks, “It is just the twos of yous, aye? No others?”

“It is just the one.” Spock confirms. He is feeling uncomfortable in the situation he’s found himself in. He doesn’t understand it. He’s not a young Vulcan anymore, not ashamed about having the story of his soulclock stopping being shared.

“Alright, then. Let us hear it.” Scott says, motioning haphazardly. “Who is the great love of your life that’s from _Riverside_?” The man grins widely, and for some reason this causes Kirk to snicker.

Spock takes a moment to think over his words. “I am not entirely certain as to who they are.” He admits.

Scott frowns. “How’d you figure that?”

“When I was younger, my parents and I visited Riverside. My father had been called down to examine the empty lot that was to become the Riverside shipyard. My mother and I spent some time exploring the town, and it was only when we were on the shuttle home I realised my soulclock had stopped.”

“No.” Kirk gasps, looking riveted. “You don’t know who they are?”

“It is what I said before.”

“That’s a bout of bad luck, you got there.” Mutters Scott.

Spock finds himself echoing the sentiment, and simply says, “ _Kaiidth_.”

Both Kirk and Scott narrow their eyes at him. “What?”

“It is a Vulcan saying, meaning ‘what is, is’.”

An impressed look crosses Kirk’s face. “Deep.” He nods, and takes a swig of his beer.

“At what time did your soulclock stop?” Scott asks, leaning forward to try and get a peek.

Spock bares his wrist and reads off the time. “14:32.”

If Spock had been paying attention to anything but the numbers on his wrist, he would have seen Kirk’s fingers tightening around his glass and his eyes widening.

But he hadn’t been paying attention, and so he sees none of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'll be finishing this up earlier than I planned, so you're welcome guys! :P Also if there're any mistakes, please let me know, I'm 100% for being taught how to better my writing.
> 
> Also thank you to everyone who took the time to read the fic, I really appreciate it :)


	3. Part III

It’s been almost three weeks since the practical training at Riverside ended, and Spock is keenly aware that something in Kirk has changed. He wasn’t deliberately keeping tabs on his behaviour, but when you spend time with someone and oversee their progress over the course of three months, you pick up on certain things.

Spock had noticed that Kirk had always been a physical being and openly expressive with his body language. However, he had always kept to himself, his hands constantly gesturing in the air but would never stray out and touch Spock. Now he seems to be doing it nearly constantly, but it could just be perceived that way because Spock is so unused to it.

Now Kirk will clap Spock on the shoulder after their lessons, place a gentle hand on his elbow when helping him up from the floor, and even knock his knuckles against Spock’s hip when agreeing with something. The touches do seem to be related to the physical training exercises, but they felt more generous. Again, Spock thinks it might be because he is not accustomed to this kind of behaviour with Kirk.

The cadet still does his training brilliantly, taking it on with gusto, but he’s taken to asking more of Spock. He asks Spock to teach him more, to display stances more, and in general asks more questions in regards to their training. Sometimes Kirk will veer off into personal stuff, asking where Spock learnt a certain move, if all Vulcans knew that, and how long did it take for him to learn it. Spock will usually answer Kirk’s inquiries openly as he doesn’t see anything insidious in the cadet’s curiosity. 

It’s only recently that Kirk has begun sharing his own stories, but they’re mostly about his day or something he did with his friends. Spock listens, and even though he doesn’t try, still learns far more about Kirk and his circle of friends than he ever intended to. Some of the people Kirk talks about he recognises, and now when he meets them on campus he will remember a story shared about them. It’s odd, because without trying Spock’s perception of these people has changed. Now when Spock and Kirk cross paths on campus, Kirk will smile and wave, or stop in his walk and have a quick chat with Spock. It’s a strange development in their acquaintanceship, but not an unwelcome one.

There is however one place where their talks haven’t changed and are still kept to a minimum, and that’s in the locker rooms. After training Spock and Kirk will proceed to shower and get dressed, ignoring each other’s presence as they tend to their own business. The only difference now is that Kirk sometimes seems to linger when he’s clearly ready to leave, and at other times he’s heading out the door at high speed. Spock doesn’t think he’ll ever understand Human behaviour.

One time Spock is going to grab a coffee before heading to his office to complete some administrative work, and happens upon Kirk in the queue. He’s stood near the front and talking to another cadet. Spock needs to pass them in order to rear around to the end of the queue, but Kirk intercepts him.

“Hey, Spock.” He smiles, his eyes thinning. “How’re you doing, man?”

“I am well, cadet.” And only because Spock can return politeness with politeness, he asks, “How are you?”

“Good, good,” Kirk nods. “Just getting my daily dosage of caffeine, you know how it is.”

The cadet stood with Kirk snorts, and it causes Kirk to look back. His smile widens.

“You disagree? Like you don’t down coffees like they’re vodka shots and you’re a first-year on a night out.” He ribs, elbowing the cadet.

“I find it hilarious you describe your coffee intake as ‘daily’ and not ‘hourly’.” The cadet replies, pushing him away. Kirk chuckles, and turns to Spock.

“Spock, this is my friend, Bones. You know the one I’ve been bitching to you about?”

“I recall.” Spock acknowledges. He remembers being told about the man extensively. Not only was he Kirk’s friend, but he was also his roommate, and often berated Jim for not keeping their apartment clean. 

“Pleasure meeting you,” The man nods at Spock, then throws an unimpressed look Kirk’s way. “I keep telling you, Jim, just bitch to my face. It’s a lot easier to tell you I don’t give a fuck that way.”

“But Spock’s a friend, and I like telling him about how you get mad when I don’t do the dishes.” Kirk smiles, throwing Spock an amused look.

Spock wasn’t aware Kirk considered him a friend, and now that Kirk has stated it aloud he doesn’t know what to say in return. Instead he announces, “I must take my position at the end of the queue if I wish to obtain my beverage.”

“Nonsense, come stand here with us.” Kirk says, shuffling back a bit.

“I am not certain that is appropriate.” Spock says, looking to the other people stood in the queue.

Jim waves away his comment. “It’s fine, we can get our drinks all together.”

Spock hesitates briefly, but steps into line with them. All conversation dies down for some reason and an odd hush falls over the three of them. They amble along as the queue moves, people leaving with their newly acquired drinks. Spock takes note of what’s happening around him, the rushing movements behind the counter, the hissing sound of the coffee maker, and the strong, piercing smell of coffee.

“Bones, buy me a slice of cheesecake.” Kirk comments idly.

“You buy it.” The man mutters, shuffling forward.

“I’ve got no money.”

“Then how’re you gonna pay for your coffee?”

Kirk quiets down for a moment, then says, “I have enough money for just the coffee.”

Bones snorts and shakes his head in disbelief.

“I can pay for you.” Spock offers.

Kirk’s eyebrows jump in surprise. “Oh, uh, that’s not necessary. Sorry, I was just messing around with Bones. I don’t actually want it.”

Bones throws him a look. “Really now.” He drawls.

“Yes, _really_.” Jim confirms with a smile, but there’s an edge to it.

Spock decides to not look into it too deeply, instead moving forward with the queue. They wait another few moments in silence, and when they finally reach the counter Kirk motions Spock ahead of him. “You can go first.”

“You were here first.”

“I’m trying to be polite, Spock, just go.” Kirk smiles, rolling his eyes. Spock remains curious as to the man’s strange behaviour, seemingly relaxed and at ease. Spock rarely, if ever, saw Kirk like this, though perhaps it could be due to him being in the company of his roommate. 

Spock nods, and steps up to the counter. He orders his drink and steps back to allow Bones to order his. He waits patiently, and is soon joined by Bones, then Kirk. They stand around in silence, awaiting their beverages, and when Spock’s name finally gets called he steps up and accepts it. 

He turns to Kirk and Bones. “Thank you for allowing me to cut the queue.”

“No problem.” Jim smiles.

Spock bids them a farewell and leaves, pretending he doesn’t notice the hushed tones the two of them start arguing in as soon as he departs.

It’s only later, at their training session when Kirk tells Spock, “We’ve known each other for a while now, Spock, you know you can call me Jim, right?” that Spock is aware that there definitely has been a shift in their relationship. Perhaps they were considered friends now.

*

“Hey, Spock, you free tonight?” Kirk asks after their training session.

Spock looks to the man. “Why do you ask?”

“I’m not trying to trick you or anything.” Kirk grins. “The Debate Society are going out for drinks tonight, and I was wondering if you wanted to come.”

Spock contemplates the invite for three seconds before inclining his head. “I am afraid I must decline.”

“Aw, come on, Spock, just a drink or two. What else do you have planned for tonight?” Spock can’t come up with a reply, because in reality he has nothing planned for tonight except staying at home. Kirk notices his lack of response, and smirks. “Nothing, huh?”

“I am not certain my presence would be accepted.” Spock says.

Kirk frowns. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Spock doesn’t know. He really has no reason to think the Debate Society wouldn’t be accepting of his presence, but he is currently slightly bewildered by Kirk’s invitation. These past few weeks he has slowly been changing, being more open and growing talkative, and Spock gets a strange feeling from it.

“Kirk—“ Spock begins, but he gets cut off almost immediately.

“Jim, please.” Kirk corrects. “I’ve been telling you, Spock, just call me Jim. I don’t call you Professor now, do I?”

“Perhaps it would be appropriate.” Spock says slowly.

Kirk laughs and places his hands on his hips. “Come on, Spock. Come out with us. It’ll be fun!” He insists. “You don’t even have to drink, just hang out for a bit. It’d be great to have you there. I’m pretty sure you could debate most of us into crying.”

His grin is incredibly earnest, his face open and trusting. This is a side of Kirk Spock has not previously seen, nor did he realise it existed. The revelation shakes Spock’s opinion of Kirk a bit.

“I will attempt not to do so.” He says, and Kirk laughs.

*

Kirk informs Spock of where and when the Debate Society will be meeting, then departs to make it home in time for dinner. He’s planning on making roasted pork, and it’s another titbit of information Kirk has taken to sharing, and for some reason Spock remembers.

At 21:00 Spock walks into _Dusk to Dawn_ , looking around the establishment for Kirk or a large gathering of Starfleet cadets. He locates the group by their loud chattering, and when he approaches he spots Kirk sat amidst them. He sends Spock a quick wave and gestures for him to sit down. Spock does so, situating himself between a Ferengi and a Human, and tries to engage in the ongoing conversation. 

The Debate Society lives up to its name by loudly and drunkenly arguing whether the rights of the Troglodytes should fall into the hands of their planet or given to the Federation. The members are loudly yelling at one another, the alcohol they’ve consumed giving them more confidence than they require to spew bullshit. Spock observes their behaviour, and despite his better judgement, gets drawn into the heated debate. He remains largely quiet on the matter at hand, but notes that Kirk is extremely vocal in his opinions.

The night continues in very much the same manner. The group breaks off into smaller parties, and they have their own conversations about topics they deem interesting or worth their time. Spock ends up getting into a dispute with an Andorian about how closely Romulan and Vulcan cultures mirror each other despite having separated into difference races, and whether that’s due to genetic makeup or coincide. They never manage to finish the discussion because when the Andorian leaves to grab another drink, a Human steals Spock’s attention away by bringing up how free healthcare hurts most planets more than it helps them.

Occasionally, in the midst of the chatter, Spock will give the group a rudimentary glance. Mostly, his attention is on Kirk and his activities. Spock takes in how the man moves through the group, seemingly jumping from one discussion to another. His voice is loud, and it can be heard sometimes above all others when he gets passionate about a subject. Spock notices how candid Kirk is, how loud he laughs and how he gestures even more when he’s in a heated discussion. It’s fascinating to watch, and Spock feels as if he’s been granted access to a hidden side of the man.

As the night falls into later hours, passing midnight even, Spock finds himself staying in the bar. He’s surprisingly enjoying this social engagement, spending his time debating with opinionated people, and learning how to approach topics differently. He was having a measured discussion with a group of Humans on the varying government bodies on Earth compared to other Federation planets, and even though they disagree on what they deem to be the most prosperous for the planet, they make valid points Spock hasn’t entertained before. He comes away from the discussion having learnt more about what it’s like to see things from a different perspective.

Most people have wandered off, leaving a small gaggle of people behind. Spock is sat talking to a Human— a Hikaru Sulu— about botany, which is the first non-debate related conversation he’s had all night. Sulu is just expanding on his method of moistening the soil before planting his seeds when Kirk slides into the seat next to Spock. He drapes his arm around his shoulders, and Spock stiffens, but Kirk doesn’t seem to notice. 

“How’re you doing?” He asks in a mock-whisper.

“I am faring well, thank you.” Spock returns, trying to keep his focus on Sulu who has taken to smirking at him.

“That’s good.” Kirk grins. “How’re you liking the evening? Is it fun?”

“I gotta go use the restroom.” Sulu announces as he stands up, and shoots Spock a wink before leaving the table. Spock’s eyes trail after the man, thinking the behaviour odd. He turns to Jim and admits, “It is most enjoyable.”

Kirk’s grin stretches wider. “See, aren’t you glad you came out?” He says, knocking his forehead against Spock’s.

“Kirk—“

“Jim, Spock, _jesus_ how many times do I have to remind you? Call me Jim.”

“Jim,” Spock corrects, sitting back slightly. “Are you inebriated?”

“Oh, no, no, I’m just tipsy. I’m really feeling myself tonight, you know?” Kirk says, shaking his head.

“I do not know.”

“You’re so cute.” Kirk chuckles. Spock finds the comment curious. “I mean I feel good. I feel real good.” He’s looking at Spock with a lop-sided smile, and his eyes are hazy.

Spock isn’t sure what to say back to that, but there’s no need for him say anything at all, because in the next moment Kirk leans forward and plants his lips on his own. 

Spock pulls back in shock.

Kirk is looking at him with earnest, blue eyes. “Please.” He murmurs, and places his free hand on Spock’s wrist.

Spock doesn’t know if it’s the ‘ _please_ ’ or Kirk’s hand on his wrist, but he allows the man to kiss him a second time, this one more hesitant. Spock can admit that Kirk is an aesthetically pleasing individual, and there have been times where he’s paid closer attention to the man’s physique during training than was strictly acceptable. He wouldn’t be opposed to engaging in sexual activities with the man, especially since he hasn’t partaken in intercourse since his time with Satok. 

Kirk deepens the kiss, and Spock finds himself returning it with increasing enthusiasm. Kirk’s lips are soft, and his hands warm where they fall onto his shoulder. The man kisses with confidence, pulling Spock closer to him and getting his tongue involved. Spock finds himself growing warmer as the sensations continue, and so he breaks the kiss.

Kirk pulls back, looking at Spock with half-lidded eyes. He licks his lips and Spock’s eyes are immediately drawn to the action.

“You wanna go back to your place?” Kirk asks. “My roommate is at my apartment.” He says in way of explanation.

It takes Spock exactly one second to come to a decision.

*

The door has barely closed behind them when Kirk presses Spock back against it and kisses him deeply. He’s so sure in his movements, taking what he wants, and that certainty has Spock grabbing at the man and pulling him closer. He makes sure he’s well and truly shielded, as he’s not certain he would be able to last long if the emotions of a Human battered at his mind.

They slowly stumble towards Spock’s bedroom, and once there proceed to remove their clothes. Jim slips out of every piece he has, his jumper, leather jacket, trousers, underwear— all gone, except for his bracelet. 

Spock, on the other hand, removes every item of clothing on him, feeling as if he has nothing to hide. The one thing he is uncertain about is his genitalia. It’s different from a Human’s, and since Vulcans are so secretive about their reproduction no one outside of the species knows what it’s like. Once Spock gets fully naked Kirk measures him up from top to toe, his gaze burning as it travels along his body, but he doesn’t comment on his genitalia.

“You are not surprised.” Spock observes.

Jim shrugs. “I’ve read up on Vulcan biology.”

Spock is confused as to why Jim would read up on Vulcan biology, but doesn’t dwell on it for too long when the man steps forward, takes Spock’s hands into his own and pulls him forward until their lips meet.

It’s been too long since Spock experienced the feeling of fingers moving inside of him, and he laments the fact that he hasn’t partaken in this act since Satok. Kirk moves his fingers inside of Spock with sure, confident strokes, and Spock feels himself grinding down to meet them. 

“You’re so wet.” Jim breathes, his free hand running over Spock’s folds. The touch has Spock’s thighs quivering, and he pulls Jim’s hand away. Jim lets himself be pushed away, but instead takes Spock’s hand into his own, laces their fingers together and squeezes. The sensation has Spock thrusting up slightly.

Kirk huffs out a laugh, and brings their joined hands to his mouth, placing a single kiss on each one of Spock’s fingertips. The act sends shivers down Spock’s body, and he has to swallow hard to hold back his moan. Kirk kisses his fingertips a second time, then a third, this time lapping lightly at the pads of his fingers. It’s like slow torture, and Spock’s not sure he can manage to keep it together.

He pries his fingers from Kirk’s hand and pushes at his shoulder. 

“Jim, please.” He pants. “I will not be able to hold out much longer if you continue.”

“That’s my plan, baby,” Kirk murmurs, taking Spock’s hand back into his own.

What follows is an excruciating lesson in pleasure for Spock, with Kirk sensually taking his fingers into his mouth, swirling his tongue around them, and sucking hard. Spock is a quivering mess throughout the whole thing, and when he feels himself working towards a climax, Kirk will pull back and lightly blow at his fingers, causing Spock to moan loudly from the shift in sensations. It’s utterly maddening, and once Spock is certain Kirk has prepped him more than is necessary, he pushes him back.

Kirk scoots back, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, but understanding dawns on his face when Spock turns them around. He secures Kirk where he’s lying on his back and reaches behind himself to grab Kirk’s cock and give it a few strokes. The man groans below him, and Spock can feel the vibrations from where he’s sat. He pumps Kirk’s cock several more times, then lifts himself up on his knees. He positions the man’s cock at his entrance, and slowly, oh so slowly slides down until he’s entirely seated.

It takes Spock a moment to collect himself as he breathes heavily. He notes that Kirk’s panting too, and he’s grabbing onto Spock’s thighs for dear life. Spock takes one moment to brace himself, then rises and thrusts back down.

“ _Fuck_.” Kirk swears, and it’s followed by a deep, drawn-out groan.

That’s all the incentive Spock needs.

He proceeds to move, bouncing up and down on Kirk’s cock and riding the man into oblivion. Throughout the entire act and their climax, Kirk looks at Spock with such awe in his eyes, and it causes a pleasant stir in his chest.

*

Spock wakes up the next morning to the sound of soft shuffling. He blinks his eyes open, and it takes him a moment before he realises what the noise is. What had occurred last night.

He keeps entirely still, not moving from where’s laying on his side. He keeps his eyes half-lidded but can see what’s happening before him. Spock watches as Kirk silently gets dressed, carefully padding around the room to find his clothes strewn about. Not once does he look to Spock, but takes care to remain quiet when pulling on his socks. He doesn’t bother with putting on his leather jacket, but instead silently heads for the door.

Spock doesn’t say anything, doesn’t let Kirk know he’s awake, and lets his eyes trail after the man as he sneaks out, leaving his bedroom door open just a sliver when he closes it behind himself.

It’s only once Spock hears the front door fall shut that he lets his eyes fall closed.

Perhaps last night had been a mistake.

*

Spock’s thought lasts throughout the next three days until training on Monday, which then promptly disproves him. 

Kirk is acting as he always does during training, treating Spock no differently than usual. He asks for Spock to show his attack stances several times so that he can accurately recreate it, partakes in combat with Spock without holding anything back, and proceeds to share stories about his weekend with Bones.

Surprisingly the flippant manner in which Kirk handles himself puts Spock at ease. If the man doesn’t think their intercourse warrants them behaving any differently around each other, Spock will continue to behave as he always has. 

He’s pleased to see that Kirk doesn’t require Spock to show him the attack stances as many times as he usually does, and when Spock introduces new moves Kirk picks up on them almost immediately. He no longer lingers when making decisions in combat, and Spock finds himself needing to fall onto the defensive side more often. 

Kirk’s aims have become more precise, and his strategies improved. There’s still room for improvement, but he has progressed extremely well since their first lesson. As the exam season draws near, Spock wonders if he should cut down their sessions to just once a week, trusting Kirk to go to the gym and take his fitness into his own hands. He’s certain Kirk will do so if asked, but it wouldn’t be because Spock told him to, but because Kirk himself wishes to improve himself. He is always concerned with what’s best for him.

*

It’s two weeks later that Kirk mentions their night. Both he and Spock are in the locker rooms, packing their final belongings before leaving, when Kirk approaches Spock and hesitantly asks, “You wanna come over?”

Spock looks at the man, and notices how he’s keeping his gaze on Spock but fiddling with the strap of his shoulder bag.

“Why?”

Kirk shrugs. “I have ‘ _The Unbeatable A’lui_ ’ on holovid. We can order pizza.”

Spock doesn’t like food which he has to use his hands for so he asks, “Do you possess cutlery?”

Kirk frowns. “Yeah?”

Spock waits.

“Yeah, I do.” Kirk confirms.

Spock doesn’t dwell on why he decides to follow the man back to his apartment, but he knows that there’s a part of him that wishes for a repeat of their night. It had been pleasurable, Kirk had been strong and a giving lover, and Spock would not be opposed to having that body atop of him once more. 

They end up sitting on opposite ends of Kirk’s couch as they watch the holovid and eat the vegetarian pizza, specifically ordered to meet Spock’s needs. Kirk leaves a few slices for his roommate who stumbles into the apartment midway through the holovid, grabs his slices and then disappears into his room.

“Bones is a Xenomedical student, so his number one priority when off work is sleep and food.” Kirk explains.

Spock nods, and continues watching the holovid. They end up finishing it, and Kirk puts on another, but it hasn’t even passed the fifteen minute mark before they’re kissing on the couch. Kirk is pressing close to Spock, his hand running up and down his thigh. The sensation is pleasant, and warms Spock’s stomach. He finds himself leaning further into Kirk, and suddenly he’s pulled onto the man’s lap.

Kirk grins up at him. “Yeah, I like this.” He murmurs, placing his hands on Spock’s buttocks and drawing him near. Their crotches grind together, and Spock must admit that this feels incredibly satisfying. They sit like that for a few long moments, kissing and slowly grinding into each other. Eventually Kirk pushes Spock off, and it’s only after mustering a great amount of strength that Spock allows himself to be moved.

“Let’s take this to the bedroom.” Kirk grins, and gently pulls Spock after him.

Spock notes how different this interaction is in comparison to Satok. They had been younger back then, Satok still a boy growing into his body. But Spock is older now, and he doesn’t yearn for a boy, but a man, and Kirk most definitely is a man. A strong man that has a powerful musk, with big, rough hands and is a welcome weight atop of Spock.

Kirk proceeds to fuck him over the edge of the bed, thrusting deep into Spock and changing the angle to bring him closest to the edge before pulling out. Spock thinks it’s an obsession of Kirk’s, bringing his partner to near-climax and then cooling them down again. It’s incredibly frustrating, but the feel of the man’s cock stretching Spock open and the burn as he thrusts into him keeps Spock from complaining too much. For now.

*

They engage in coitus several more times over the coming weeks, and it’s safe to say that Spock is pleased with the situation. He can’t speak on behalf of Jim, who is delighted now that Spock referred to him by his given name without having to be prompted, but for Spock the current circumstances he finds himself in are ideal.

His understanding with Jim allows Spock to regularly partake in sexual intercourse, an act which he realises he’s missed greatly, though it could perhaps just be due to Jim being a generous lover. There is also no need for Spock to attach himself to a partner, and so he’s free to attend to his work, small social circle, and meditation. Jim, too, has his own life outside of his sessions with Spock, and will tend to that before they sometimes decide to meet and spend the night together.

He believes their relationship can best be described by the Human term ‘friends with benefits’.

Their situation also comes with perks such as seeing Jim grow more relaxed and open around Spock, which has him looking at the man from an entirely different perspective. Spock is so used to encountering the Jim that remained tight-lipped in his presence for days on end, he’s finding himself overly fascinated with this new version.

He touches Spock more frequently now, not only in private but during their training sessions too. The clap on the shoulder, hand on the elbow, knuckles knocking against the hip; they’ve all increased and now Jim takes to stroking down Spock’s back, leaning his chin on Spock’s shoulder, and gently rubbing his thumb over Spock’s thigh. They are meaningful touches, and Spock feels himself growing reliant on receiving these touches.

Jim’s recently started taking to inviting Spock out with him and Bones, and Spock has accepted exactly twice. Both times they had stayed in Jim’s apartment and played poker, a game both he and Bones were fond of. Spock didn’t know how to play the game, but he quickly learned and proceeded to sweep the floor with his two opponents. Bones grumbled something about ‘damn poker face’, and Jim had laughed himself to tears. Spock has to admit the evenings had been enjoyable.

During one instance after sex, when he and Jim are lying curled up with one another, Spock says, “Jim.”

“Mm?” The man hums in reply.

“At the beginning of our acquaintanceship, you once mentioned you needed to complete your time at Starfleet in three years. Why?”

Jim peers down at Spock, looking surprised, and Spock’s not sure if it’s because of the nature of the question or that Spock is speaking. Usually once they’ve engaged in intercourse, neither he nor Jim will exchange words, but simply bask in the afterglow.

It takes Jim a few moments to answer, but when he does his voice is soft. “I gotta get off this planet.” He tilts his head to gaze up at the ceiling. “You know how pirates have sea legs? I’m pretty sure I have that, but for space. Space legs. Star legs.” Jim smiles slowly to himself.

“Is waiting another year too much for you to bear?” Spock wonders. He’s been curious as to Jim’s reason to take on the accelerated course for a while now.

Jim looks to Spock, his eyes piercing. “Do you know how long a year is? How many moments and experiences I can have in one?” He turns to look up at ceiling again. “I don’t want to spend any more time on this planet than necessary.”

Humans did have shorter life spans, and so Spock assumes it only makes sense that they had a stronger sense of carpe diem.

Spock curls forward, laying his head on Jim’s chest. “What will you do when you get off it?”

“I have my plans.” Comes Jim’s amused voice. Spock can imagine the smile on the man’s face, and the desire to see it is so strong that he lifts his head. He observes how open and free Jim looks at this moment, completely naked and looking so at ease thinking about the future.

“Do you want to hear about them?” Jim asks.

“I will listen if you tell me.” Spock agrees.

Jim snorts. “So comforting.” He says, and shakes his head. “I’m going to become a Starfleet captain. Straight out of the academy, I’m getting onto a ship I can call my own. And she’s going to be beautiful, Spock, the absolute best. I’m going to have a great crew, and Bones will be my CMO even though he hates space.”

Spock lift an eyebrow. “If he despises it, why is he at Starfleet?”

“Right, that’s what I said!” Jim exclaims. “The guy is just weird, man. He’s weird, but he’s great. Bones actually has a really big heart. I’m pretty sure his empathy levels are higher than average, though it’s difficult to tell just by looking at him, you know? He really does care about people but it’s in an aggressive way.”

“From what little I know of the man, that description seems incredibly appropriate.”

Jim chuckles, and Spock feels it from where his head is laid on Jim’s chest.

It was odd, the ease with which they conversed with one another now. It was comfortable, and Spock felt strangely calm. He had even taken to lowering his mental shields enough so that he could get a taste of Jim’s emotions when they touched. The man felt too strongly, too much, too fast, and Spock finds himself seeking it out. It’s addictive in a way, but he strives to keep himself from being sucked too deep into the emotions.

The Jim Kirk Spock had met at the _Kobayashi Maru_ tribunal was an angry, obstinate cadet, too concerned with holding a grudge against Spock for exposing his crime, and this Jim Kirk is a tenacious and passionate being, both mind and heart open to new ways. Perhaps it’s the lapse of time, or the sex, but Spock likes this Jim Kirk a lot more.

*

Lately Spock will think more often about what his mother had told him about finding ease and comfort in someone that isn’t your soulmate, and he understands. Jim is too emotional, is loud and hopelessly optimistic at times, but he’s also got a sharp mind and strong determination. 

Every time they talk Spock finds out new things about Jim that add to his personality, growing so large Spock thinks it may be never-ending. He feels comfortable when he’s with Jim, and he’s certain from the way Jim remains unguarded around Spock, he mirrors the sentiment.

*

Spock considers himself to be more skillful at combat than Jim, but there’s no doubt the man is quickly catching up. Spock is fortunate that he has Vulcan strength on his side, because Jim’s swipes have grown so quick he needs to constantly be on guard in order to defend himself from any fatal attacks.

Jim takes a swing at his head, and Spock blocks it by crossing his arms in front of his face. He takes to crouching down further, bending his knees and staying on the balls of his feet. Jim jumps back and brings his hands up, protecting his face. Spock approves of the action.

They dance around each other for a few good minutes, striking at one another when they think they can get a good punch in. They come to blows several times, and Spock is certain he’ll be sporting bruises after this fight. He almost loses his balance when Jim charges at him unexpectedly, but manages to twirl on his foot and regain his footing quickly. It’s an intense fight, and as always they’re both giving it the best they’ve got.

It’s only by chance that Spock manages to get a dive into Jim’s personal space, and when he does he grabs at the man’s leather bracelet, which continues to be Jim’s greatest weakness. Spock steps backwards, falling onto his back and pulling Jim forward with him as he drops. As soon as Spock’s back hits the ground he lifts his knees, catches Jim weight just as he falls, and pushes the man over his head, firmly slamming him onto the ground.

Jim lets out a deep groan and clenches his fists. “That was a good one.” He hisses.

Spock instantly releases the bracelet and jumps to his feet. “You have improved greatly.”

“Thanks.” Jim says, sitting up. “Though as you say, there’s always room for improvement.”

“Indeed.” Spock agrees, holding out his hand to Jim.

“But first you must learn to keep your weakness from being exposed.” A voice flows through the room. Both Jim and Spock turn to the voice, and Spock’s eyes widen as he takes in the figure by the door.

“Satok.” He breathes.

“Spock.” Satok acknowledges, stepping forward. He’s dressed in a dark brown Vulcan robe and what looks to be a knitted grey cowl wrapped around his neck. “I am pleased to see you.”

“Likewise. I was not aware you would arrive so soon.” Spock says. He pulls his hand back and approaches his friend, still in awe at seeing him right before his very eyes.

“I deliberately gave you the wrong details as to catch you unguarded. I have read that at this point Humans will exclaim, ‘surprise’.” Satok explains.

“I am surprised.” Spock says, coming to a stop in front of him.

Satok nods. “Very good.”

Spock takes in Satok’s features. It has been several years since he last saw his friend in the flesh, and despite the high resolution footage provided by the video transmissions, it doesn’t compare to seeing him in person. 

Satok’s hair has grown slightly at the sides of his head, covering his slanted brows, and the bridge of his nose has thinned a bit. His cheekbones are more prominent now, no resemblance of the rounder cheeks from his youth, and Spock notices there are scab remains on the corner of his jawline.

“Have you been injured?” Spock asks.

“Negative, there was simply strong turbulence on the science vessel I was positioned on. An asteroid shower shook our ship and I collided with one of the panels.” Satok explains.

“How unfortunate.” Spock offers, and Satok inclines his head in agreement.

Suddenly Spock remembers that he and his friend are not the only ones in the room. He looks back at Jim, and sees he’s gazing at the two of them with a strange look on his face.

“Satok, this is my student, Jim Kirk.” Spock says, nodding at Jim. “Jim, this is Satok.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you.” Satok greets.

“Yeah, you too.” Jim returns. He quirks a smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Excuse me, I gotta leave you guys to it.” He walks past Spock and Satok and exits the training room without a word, leaving a heavy silence in his wake.

“They are brash.” Satok observes.

“He is not usually like this.” Spock explains, confused as to Jim’s actions.

Satok nods. “Humans are strange.”

Indeed, Spock thinks.

*

As this is Satok’s first trip to Earth, Spock makes sure to show his friend the very best that the planet has to offer. Unfortunately, he currently can’t take more than two days leave from the academy since they’re almost coming onto exam season, so the two of them decide to stick to the San Francisco area.

Spock shows Satok the seacoast, certain his friend will find this fascinating since Vulcan is a desert planet with no large bodies of water. Spock takes Satok on a walk down the beach, and together they collect seashells and discuss the marine life that resides in the ocean. Satok keeps asking questions about everything they happen upon, and he reminds Spock of a Human child.

“Satok, when does your internship in India start?” He asks.

“In two months’ time. However, I need to first travel to Vulcan and complete my evaluation of my time aboard the science vessel as well as hand in any and all documentation I have gathered during my stay.”

Spock nods, and mentally plans how he can accumulate enough days off to visit his friend in the future.

Once they’ve completed their work at the beach, they have lunch at one of the vegetarian restaurants in the city. Satok is interested in the difference of the vegetables on Earth in comparison to Vulcan, and Spock allows his friend to try several bites of his own dish. Afterwards they take to strolling around the city centre, and Satok gets to see first-hand how multicultural San Francisco really is. 

In the evening Spock calls his parents, and Satok joins him in conversing with his mother. Amanda is familiar with Satok as he was a key part of Spock’s teenage years, and Satok too is fond of her. Their familiarity used to be another reason Spock had wished his and Satok’s mind meld had been successful, but now that he’s older he’s not overly concerned with it. He realises now that it’s entirely possible for Satok to remain his friend and still stay on good terms with his family. 

Amanda is excited that Spock has a friend visiting, and asks them what they’ve been up to and how Satok is liking his time on Earth. She laughs at Satok’s enthusiasm that shines through when he tells her about the seashells and the ocean, and Spock finds himself gazing fondly at his friend as he goes into further detail of the types of shells he found. Amanda gives him some tips on dealing with Human behaviour which Satok immediately takes to heart, and then complains to Spock about how she wants to visit her son too. Spock finds his lips curling upwards slightly, enjoying the conversation between the three of them. 

He feels as if he’s back home again, in the comfort of the home he grew up in, and not the one he had cultivated for himself here on Earth. It’s extremely rare that Spock finds himself wishing to travel back to Vulcan, but this instance is one of them.

The second day Spock takes Satok to a café he often frequents, mainly because they serve tea from all corners of the galaxy. They even hold obscure tastes such as Helotian vineleaves, but it is extremely expensive. Nonetheless, Satok buys a cup and insists Spock taste some of it. Afterwards they go to an old antique shop Jim had once told Spock about, saying they had Old Earth treasures which would give historians a field day. 

Satok is mesmerised by the items in the shop and touches everything with a sense awe. Spock doesn’t think he realises he’s even doing it, but it’s an entertaining sight. He reminds Spock of himself when he was younger and his curiosity drove him to wanting to touch anything, to hold it and feel the physical weight in his hand.

He’s glad his friend is finally getting to experience the wonders of Earth.

*

Satok leaves on the third day right after breakfast. Spock can’t see him off at the shuttle since he has a class that morning, but they say their goodbyes in Spock’s apartment.

“Please visit me when you are able to.” Satok says earnestly. It’s strange, but Satok seems to be more expressive now than he was when they were younger. Spock had thought living his entire life on Vulcan and then spending an extended period of time aboard a Vulcan science vessel would make his friend more rigid and reserved. He thought Satok would grow up to become more like a proper Vulcan, not openly displaying his emotions like a Human.

“I intend to.” Spock nods, planning on informing Satok of his wishes to visit India once he has the approval of the academy.

Immediately after Satok’s departure Spock falls back into his regular schedule, writing up material for a class he’s been assigned for next semester, completing administrative work and planning on what he will put Jim through during their next session. The week continues on as it usually does, and by the time Friday rolls around Spock has decided that he’ll be letting Jim lead the lesson this time around. He’s spent all this time following Spock’s instructions and sticking to his regime, Spock wants to see what the man has learnt from their extensive training together.

When Spock arrives Jim is already present and waiting, dressed in his workout clothes. It’s rare that Jim arrives before Spock does, but not unheard of.

“Welcome, Jim.” Spock announces, and Jim nods stiffly in return. “I have decided that you will be the one to lead today’s lesson.”

“Alright.” Jim murmurs, and keeps his gaze on Spock’s chest. Spock’s eyebrows furrow and he looks down. There is nothing on his chest.

Looking back up at Jim, Spock says, “Please proceed with the lesson as you see fit.”

Jim nods once, and remains where he is. After a few moments he heads towards the centre of the room. He walks slowly, his movements stiff and his muscles tense. “Start in the centre.”

Spock finds this behaviour unusual, but follows Jim’s order. He stands opposite the man, and immediately falls into a defensive position.

Jim snorts. “Typical.”

Spock’s brows furrow. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing.” Jim says, shaking his head and getting into the opening fight stance. “Start on the count of three.”

On ‘ _three_ ’ Jim strikes, and Spock is thrown off by the strength of it. He halts backwards, and has to take several steps back as to not fall. Jim doesn’t stop to give Spock time to recover though, and quickly advances on him. His blows are brutal, striking from every perceivable angle at an incredibly high speed, and Spock finds himself struggling to keep up. He can’t do anything else but stay in the defense.

Jim is rapidly backing him into a corner, and only by allowing himself to be hit and then side-stepping the following punch does Spock manage to avoid being pushed into the corner. He swiftly turns on his heel to face Jim, his arms held up in front of his face.

There is something distinctly off about Jim.

His movements are tense and his face closed-off, not its usual canvas of emotion even during combat. Jim turns around, looking larger than Spock has seen him before. He reminds him of Earth cats that would try to make their bodies look bigger in order to intimidate an opponent. This is highly unusual.

“Are you well, Jim?” Spock asks.

“You are some asshole, you know that?” Jim snaps.

Spock lets his arms lower slightly. “I do not understand.”

Jim laughs, but it’s bitter. “You don’t understand? Oh, that’s rich. That’s real rich.”

“Jim, what is wrong?” Spock repeats.

“Nothing’s wrong with me!” He yells, advancing on Spock who immediately brings his arms back up and takes a step back. “The fuck is wrong with you? You’re just gonna straight up cheat on your boyfriend and not even tell him? Or even me, for that matter? For fuck’s sake, Spock, I’m not the kind of guy who breaks up relationships. I’m not a homewrecker, and if I’d known you had a boyfriend I wouldn’t have even bothered with you!”

Spock can barely follow Jim’s sudden rage, but throughout the whole rant he manages to parse out the last sentence.

“I do not have a boyfriend.” Spock says, blinking.

Jim snorts. “Nice lie.”

“It is not a lie.” Spock insists, feeling himself getting worked up. He needs to tamper down on the emotion, but Jim’s anger does little else but fuel him.

“They have to be your boyfriend, Spock.”

“Because they are Vulcan?” He snaps testily.

“Because you behave differently around him. You treat him as if he’s something precious, like you don’t treat anyone else.”

“Satok is nothing more than my friend. He was my first and only friend on Vulcan, and even though there was a time I wished for us to be partners, we both realised it was not possible.” Spock explains with tight, controlled anger. He had thought Jim was behaving strangely due to some personal reason, not because of some misplaced sense of jealousy.

Jim still looks furious, but the deafening silence that envelops them lessens the impact. His frown slowly eases up, and Spock sees a certain hesitancy in his movements.

“You serious?”

“Very much so. Satok and I were childhood friends who have continued that friendship into adulthood.”

The silence continues, trickling along with the seconds. Spock does not relent in his staring, watching Jim just as closely as he’s watching Spock.

Suddenly, Jim’s anger evaporates and melts into a sheepish look. “I… I didn’t know.”

Spock stares at him in disbelief.

Jim swallows. “I’m sorry, Spock.” He says quietly.

The awkward moment hangs in the air between them, growing so thick it could suffocate someone.

Spock collects himself enough to slowly say, “I believe it would be best if we forewent today’s lesson.”

Jim nods slowly. “Yeah,” He agrees.

*

They continue their training again the next week, but it’s stilted. The easy intimacy they’d developed between each other has been replaced by awkward silences and hesitant words, all of them courtesy of Jim. Spock himself has no problem remaining quiet during their training sessions and speaking only when needing to explain something or correcting Jim’s posture.

Jim stays mostly quiet, only occasionally interjecting a word here and there. At first he’d tried to fall back into their usual groove, but Spock wouldn’t play his part and so it was just Jim being overly friendly on his own. Eventually it tapered off and Jim fell silent, simply following Spock’s directions on how to go about the lesson. Spock hasn’t offered him to lead the lesson since their fight.

At one point when Spock shows a rather impressive move, Jim claps him on the shoulder with a wide grin. Spock immediately shrugs it off, and pretends not to notice Jim’s forlorn expression for the remainder of their lesson.

He receives a slew of messages in the following days. Pike leaves a record transmission for him inquiring about how his training with Jim is progressing, and if Spock can put together a report on it. Satok has left a video transmission informing Spock that he’s returned safely to Vulcan, and once more thanks Spock for allowing his time during the visit.

There’s also a message from Nyota who Spock realises he hasn’t seen in almost a month. She asks if Spock is interested in temporarily being the Secretary of the Xenolinguistics Society until she finds someone else, and also comments on the fact that they haven’t seen each other in a long time and should meet up sometime soon. She ends her message by mentioning that there’s a new Andorian film in the student cinema she wants to watch, and Spock makes a promise to himself to ensure he’s free to see it with her at some point. 

There is the usual video transmission from his mother inquiring about his well-being, and this time his father has joined in too. They wish to know when he’ll be back for the holidays, and Amanda sends him a list of items she’d like him to bring back to Vulcan when he visits.

Training goes on and Spock continues to keep away from Jim, making sure to leave immediately after their practice. He can feel Jim’s guilt in the locker rooms, a silent presence taking up all of Spock’s attention, but he forces himself to ignore it. Though it has been several days since their fight, he finds himself still feeling sore about it.

*

At some point during the silent treatment Spock realises he’s not happy when Jim is upset with him. He firmly believes he’d been in the right for getting angry, but the idea of having Jim, who was usually so vivacious and full of life, act so despondent around him did not sit well with Spock. He’s not sure he’s forgiven Jim for his behaviour, but he does know that he’s no longer angry with him.

It’s when they’re getting dressed in the locker rooms that Spock decides to inform Jim of this decision. He walks up to where Jim’s sat on the bench and places a chaste kiss on his neck. Jim startles, and looks at Spock.

“What was that for?”

“I wished to.” Spock says in lieu of an explanation.

Jim blinks up at Spock, and suddenly his face breaks into a bright grin.

It’s what convinces Spock he’s made the right decision in forgiving Jim. He’s missed those smiles.

*

Both Spock and Jim exit the building after their latest lesson, the fourth last one before they must break for exams. Spock doesn’t know how Jim feels about them since he hasn’t mentioned anything, but that’s understandable considering how Spock had shut him out. 

Usually they’ll part ways at this point, heading in opposite directions to go home, but this time Jim asks Spock, “Hey, you want to come over? Bones won’t be home until late tonight, he’s got a seminar by a visiting doctor.”

Spock nods, pleased to fall back into their regular easy rhythm, and together they start for Jim’s apartment. 

*

Spock is pulling Jim closer, wrapping his legs around his waist and deepening the kiss. They’re both still fully clothed, but it doesn’t stop them from touching one another and grinding as if there was nothing between them. Jim moves forward, his weight pressing Spock down into the mattress. The action sends shivers down Spock’s back, and he grips harder onto Jim’s shoulders.

Jim chuckles, and gently nips at Spock’s lower lip. Spock runs his hands down Jim’s back, enjoying the way the man hums in pleasure. He strokes up again, letting his hands wander over his arms and pausing on Jim’s biceps. The muscle there is prominent and Spock finds himself squeezing it lightly before moving down to Jim’s hands. He wants to lace their fingers together and work himself into a sweat, but his fingers catch on Jim’s bracelet.

Spock breaks away from the kiss, and pulls lightly at the bracelet. “You are constantly wearing this.” He comments. 

Above him, Jim stills. 

“It is not meant as an offense, simply an observation.” Spock assures him.

Jim looks uncomfortable, but nods once. “I know.”

Spock’s fingers are still on the leather bracelet. It’s cold in comparison to Jim’s body. “You should not be ashamed, Jim. There are far more important things in this world than soulmates.” He says, hoping to ease Jim’s worries.

However, it doesn’t seem to have the desired outcome, because Jim frowns and says, “I disagree.”

“Why?” Spock asks, surprised.

“Well, I mean, it’s such an integral part of our culture— Earth’s that is— and all soulmates who have found each other have all said that their lives had changed for the better once they met their soulmate.” Jim explains. 

“It is wishful thinking.”

“And I’ll wish for it.” Jim argues. They lapse into silence, staring at one another for a few moments before Jim hesitantly asks, “What do you mean about soulmates not being important?”

“I did not say they were unimportant, only that I believe they are not the most important thing in this world.” Jim rolls off of him, and Spock immediately misses his warmth. Jim lies on his side, and listens intently as Spock speaks. “Each being in the galaxy has different wishes, and some may not deem finding their soulmate to be their number one priority.” Spock finishes, and turns to face Jim. 

They stare at each other for a while, and then Jim asks, “When did you realise your soulclock had stopped?”

“On our shuttle voyage back to San Francisco. I was looking at the passing scenery when my mother brought attention to it.”

Jim frowns, looking worried. “You don’t remember when exactly it stopped?”

“No.” Jim seems to deflate slightly. “But I do recall where we were at the time.”

“Where?” Jim asks intently, and Spock notes that he’s paying very close attention.

“We were in Riverside’s shopping centre, and we were walking through it.” Spock replies.

“When? As in what date?”

“Why do you wish to know, Jim?”

“Please. Just answer the question.” Jim says tersely. Spock gazes at the man, taking in his tense posture and focus.

“By Earth terms, it was on April 16th.”

“Stardate 2238?” Jim asks.

“Yes.” Spock says, surprised.

Jim bites his lip, and after a moment reveals, “I was five when my soulclock stopped.” 

Spock feels himself freeze up at the words. Jim has never, not once, during the entire time they’ve known each other mentioned anything about his own soulclock. Spock had presumed it was still ticking which is why he kept it hidden, but apparently he was wrong. 

Jim continues. “My brother Sam had taken me to the arcade hall, which is in our shopping centre. I remember I’d just won a shooting game against one of Sam’s friends, and as I went to high five Sam he suddenly grabbed my wrist. He pointed at my soulclock and started yelling that my soulclock had stopped, and all his friends gathered around to see it.” A fond smile graces his lips. “We checked the time and it was like ten past three or something, but my soulclock had stopped earlier.”

Spock feels his heart beating rapidly in his chest and the blood rushing through his ears as he watches Jim silently remove his leather bracelet.

His soulclock reads…

_14:32._

Spock’s mouth is dry. He can’t tear his eyes away from the numbers so clearly displayed on Jim’s wrist, an echo of the time he has etched into his own skin.

“We must have met at that mall, Spock.” Jim murmurs.

Spock attempts to swallow, but he’s unable to get his mouth to cooperate. He continues to stare at Jim’s wrist, and quietly says, “Perhaps.”

“No, not _perhaps_. We _must_ have.” Jim insists. “Because what are the chances that we were at the same place, at the same time, on the same day? We must have passed each other or something, because I don’t remember…” Jim pauses. “There were rumours that there was a Vulcan in our area back then, but that was just to see the place where the shipyard would be built.”

“It must have been my father. He had been invited by Starfleet to examine the empty lot where the potential shipyard would be built.” Spock explains, trying to extrapolate a reason for this new information he’s just learnt.

“Your dad, huh.” Jim repeats, mouth turning down.

“It would appear so.” Spock admits.

Jim is staring at Spock, a hard, calculating look in his eyes. “Seriously, Spock. What are the chances of us meeting again later in life?”

The words cause Spock to remember his mother, and how she had once told him about missed opportunities. He remembers wishing he’d paid closer attention to his surroundings, but he hadn’t, and it had caused him to miss out on his soulmate. He remembers thinking there was no possibility he’d ever get to see them again. He would never get a second chance.

“Second chances are not to be wasted.” He says slowly, the words foreign on his tongue.

Jim’s lips stretch into a smile. “Yeah?”

“Jim, when did you realise your soulclock shared the same time as mine?” Spock asks suddenly.

Jim licks his lips, then admits, “Riverside. When we were at the bar drinking with Scotty.”

“You have kept silent about it for this long.” Spock realises.

Jim averts his eyes, his face growing red. “I wasn’t sure if you were the one or not.”

“You are still not certain whether I am your soulmate.” Spock points out.

Jim sighs. “But you’ve got to be. I mean… how else can I explain this?” He finishes, motioning between Spock and his soulclock.

Spock thinks there must be many ways to explain it. Even though improbable, it is not impossible that it’s a coincidence.

“Did your opinion of me change once you realised we were potential soulmates?” He asks.

“Kinda, yeah.” Jim admits.

“I see.” Spock says, and suddenly grows quiet.

“What’s wrong?” Jim asks, looking worried.

Spock catches Jim’s eye. “I recall one incident during our training where I had thrown you to the floor. I reached to help you up, but when I touched your skin I felt the intense dislike you held for me.”

Jim’s cheeks darken even more, but he doesn’t deny anything. “I did hate you. A lot.” He admits quietly.

Spock feels his chest constrict. “I see.”

Jim sighs, frustrated, and tries to explain. “It was— it was right after the tribunal. I was angry that you’d found my subroutine, I mean you’d messed up my whole passing grade.”

“It was not a passing grade as it was later revealed that you cheated.”

“I changed the margins of the test.” Jim points out.

“Without consulting the creator, which is cheating.” Spock says firmly.

Jim sighs. “Let’s not argue about this now, okay? I… You know what, yeah, I was angry with you at the time. I was super pissed. But I was also kinda… angry at myself.”

“Why?”

Jim shrugs one shoulder. “You were hot.”

“I do not understand.”

“Seriously?” At Spock’s blank look, Jim rolls his eyes. “Man, I can’t believe you lived on Earth this long and not figured out how backwards we Humans are when it comes to attraction.”

Spock finds Jim’s words curious, and after running it through his mind a few more times he still doesn’t understand why Jim would be angry with himself. All that he can take away from it is that Jim found him attractive at the time of the tribunal.

“Anyway,” He continues. “I resented you at the start, and even more so when you were assigned to me for command training. I realise that wasn’t your fault, the works of Pike affects everyone, but I still really, really didn’t like you. But, you know, as we kept working together and training, that slowly petered off into tolerating you. And then well…” Jim breaks off, looking embarrassed. He starts picking at the hem of the duvet. “This is actually a bit weird, but um. Bones got really tired of me bitching about you to him, so he had me make a list.”

Spock raises one delicate eyebrow. “A list?”

“Yup.” Jim nods, cheeks flushed. “He sat my ass down with a PADD and said I had to make a list, not of the things I didn’t like about you, but what I _did_ like.”

Spock’s second eyebrow joins his first.

“Safe to say, it did not get off to a good start. I was really struggling coming up with something decent to write down, and so sometimes I’d just go days without writing down anything. Which in my opinion, was better than writing something nasty. But um, yeah, I struggled with that for a while, and then I started adding good stuff about you. Some days I wrote like four, five things, other times just one.”

“I wish to view this list.” Spock says, and Jim laughs.

“I think you should keep an open mind when reading the start, because it’s pretty much me grabbing at straws.”

A hush falls over the two of them. Spock looks at the man lying opposite him, taking in his features. His blond hair that looks soft to the touch and the traces of stubble across his chin. Spock has a sudden yearning to reach over and run his hands over that stubble, wanting to feel the roughness on the palm of his hand.

“I’m pretty sure you’re my soulmate, Spock.” Jim reveals.

“Why do you insist on this belief?” Spock wonders.

Jim shakes his head. “I don’t know, man, it’s just… outside of this soulclock, I feel as if I know you. Or I’d like to get to know you, the real you. I mean since the start I feel like I’ve been able to read you, and trust me, you’re very difficult to read. I know it’s kind of weird to say it, but I feel as if I’m attuned to you.”

“You did not entertain such thoughts until you saw my soulclock.” Spock argues.

“Yeah, that helped me realise that what I was feeling wasn’t just… I don’t know, my imagination, but could possibly be our bond. I…” Jim sighs. “It’s really difficult to explain.”

Spock understands.

He understands where Jim is coming from, and he understands his struggles with putting what he’s feeling into words. It’s certainly strange, but Spock cannot fathom how he would describe his feelings towards Jim in comparison to the others in his life.

It’s true that they only crossed paths by chance, but they have remained close since then. It took them a while to get to where they are now, this easy-going, comfortable intimacy, but now that they have it Spock is hard-pressed to let it go. He’s never felt like this before, as if he can relax and not feel the weight of the world judging him for it. 

Originally he’d chalked it up to nothing more than mere physical attraction, because Jim certainly is an attractive individual. However, the more Spock dwells on it, and the more he thinks of his time together with Jim, the more he realises he yearns for more of it, and of the man himself. His feelings for Jim are clear, and they incite a warmth in Spock that he’s never experienced before, but knows he has no intention of giving up. 

But still, Spock finds himself doubting.

“We may never know for sure whether we are soulmates.” He says quietly.

“I still want to give it a try.” Jim says firmly. “Worst case scenario, we don’t get together and revert back to this weird friend thing we have going on. Best case scenario, we end up spending the rest of their lives.”

Oddly enough the thought has Spock’s insides warming, but he’s not sure how to react to that. 

“Jim, may I see your wrist?” He asks.

Jim nods, and holds his arm out. Spock gently takes hold of his wrist, and peers closely at the soulclock, taking in every detail. All soulclocks are identical in shape and ink, a dark, obsidian colour, but for some reason Spock feels as if Jim’s is different. It’s more, it’s too much, too strong, much like the man himself. He runs his thumb over the numbers, feeling the smoothness there.

He looks to Jim and sees how he’s watching Spock. His eyes are half-lidded, the blue colour seemingly brighter than he’s ever seen them before. Spock allows himself to indulge, and runs his free hand gently over Jim’s chin.

Jim grins. “You alright?”

“I am well.” Spock assures him. He keeps stroking Jim’s chin, delighting in finally knowing that his stubble is rough, and leaves a tingling feeling over his palms. Jim continues to watch him with his piercing blue eyes, and Spock feels as if he can see clearly into his soul.

A thought starts slowly forming in his head. Spock removes his hand from Jim’s chin, and gently places them on his face, his fingers falling onto the man’s meld points.

“May I?” He asks.

“What is it?” Jim wonders.

“It is a Vulcan mind meld. It will allow me to link our minds, allowing for an intimate exchange of thoughts. It will help us ascertain whether we are indeed soulmates or not.” Spock can feel Jim’s pulse quicken from where his free hand is still holding his wrist. 

“Wow, you Vulcans have some handy tricks up your sleeves.” Jim huffs out a laugh, then swallows. “Go on.”

Spock lets his eyes slip shut and murmurs, “My mind to your mind…”

Suddenly he’s pulled deep into Jim’s mind, a concoction of thoughts, feelings, and emotions barraging against him—

It’s overbearing, too much, too intense—

Spock’s not accustomed to handling such heavy, powerful emotions, but he finds himself unable to do anything about it—

A brightness bursts before him, and he doesn’t know how to cover from it—

It expands, growing larger and larger and Spock feels as if it could blind him—

It assaults him, wraps around him, and it’s warm, so, so warm—

Spock is engulfed by the feeling, so strong and potent, so bright and comfortable, so, so—

Jim.

_T’hy’la_

Spock breaks out of the mind meld, and both he and Jim come to where they last left off. Their panting is loud in the room, Spock’s heart beating faster than it ever has before. He feels as if he’s run around the sun and basked in its rays, warmth clinging to his body like smoke. 

He stares at Jim, dazed. His eyes are wide and he’s gasping in air, looking at Spock as if his whole world has been shaken to the core.

“Jim,” Spock rasps. “Are you well?”

Jim reaches forward and awkwardly pats Spock on the shoulder. He nods, but is still taking in lungful after lungful of air. It takes them both a while until they’ve regained their breathing, bringing it back to something resembling normality.

Jim peers up at Spock, his blue eyes shining. “T’hy’la?” He pants. “What does that mean?”

It takes Spock a moment to gather himself, but then he draws his hand down and place it on Jim’s cheek. “Soulmate.”

Jim’s still breathing harshly, but somehow manages a grin. He carefully moves his hand and places it over Spock’s. “I fucking knew it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finished!! :D Finally managed to get the time to wrap this up, meaning now I can actually focus on more importan irl things :P The ending was really stressing me out, but I'm happy with how it ends, even if it is abrupt.
> 
> I want to thank all of those who followed this story from the start, and I hope it was a satisfying read :) I really appreciated your comments and kudos, and am glad I got to share this fic with fellow ST nerds :P


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